Spiritual doubt & struggles

Struggles can come up for people who follow a major religion, a smaller or less familiar path, a personal spirituality, or no religion at all. A non-religious person might struggle with questions of meaning, or with what they owe to others. The feelings are just as real.

• Anger or disappointment with the sacred, a deity or the universe
• Feeling far away from something that used to feel close
• Guilt, or fear of being punished
• Not knowing what you believe any more
• Tension with family or your community about beliefs
• Wondering whether life has a purpose

Struggling with your beliefs doesn’t mean your faith or path is weak, or that you are doing something wrong. Many traditions see doubt and dark times as part of a spiritual life.

This means inner conflict about belief and how you understand the sacred: feeling angry at a higher power, abandoned, or punished.

Doubt struggles are about difficulty knowing whether religious or spiritual teachings are true.

Moral struggles happen when people feel their behaviour doesn’t fit their own values and beliefs. This can bring guilt or shame.

These struggles are about inner conflict and tension around a person’s deepest purpose in life: “Does my life matter? What is it for?”

These are conflicts with others around religious themes, relationships and leadership: feeling judged by a community, hurt by a leader, or at odds with family.

Researchers call this a “demonic” struggle: the feeling of being harassed or attacked by the devil or evil spirits. It is described in many traditions and can be very frightening.

Studies link spiritual struggles with depression, anxiety, stress and lower wellbeing. Strong or growing struggles seem to weigh most heavily.

Researchers also note that spiritual struggles can sometimes lead to psychological growth and a more mature faith. Some people return to an old path with new understanding, some find a new one, and some live peacefully with open questions.

Gentle questions

• What has this taught me about what really matters?
• Who has shown up for me?
• What strength have I found that I didn’t know I had?

Spiritual struggles are common during serious illness and loss. You can expect a health care team to respect your beliefs, and you can ask for spiritual support, like a chaplain, at any time.

Prompts

• What I used to believe is…
• What feels different now is…
• What I miss is…
• What I feel relieved about is…
• A question I am carrying is…

Talking about struggles helps more than carrying them alone. Chaplains in hospitals, the military, colleges and veterans’ care are trained to support people of every belief and none.

When big questions feel unsettled, small everyday routines can keep you steady. Being active and connecting with other people are two of the NHS’s five steps to mental wellbeing.

You may not know what you believe right now, but you probably still know what you value: kindness, honesty, family, courage. Doing one small thing each day that fits your values can bring steadiness.

Some people keep practices from their path that still bring comfort, like a candle, music or time in nature, even while beliefs are uncertain. Others try practices that don’t need any belief, like mindfulness or gratitude.

Remind yourself that questioning is a normal part of a spiritual life. Many people find that beliefs settle slowly, over months or years.

• Go at your own pace. You don’t have to sort everything out at once.
• Notice old fears or guilt, and remind yourself they were taught, not facts about you.
• Use grounding habits when memories feel strong: slow breathing, a walk, a familiar object to hold.
• Look for a trauma-informed counselor who respects all beliefs.
• Keep people around you who accept you as you are now.

Some people find a new path after leaving a faith that hurt them. Others step away from religion altogether, or return to their old faith in a new way. Each can be a valid outcome.

Healthy groups let you ask questions, keep your relationships and leave without fear. If a group controls you, cuts you off from others or makes you afraid to leave, it is okay to step back and talk with someone you trust.

You can expect a health care team to respect your beliefs. Many people see a counselor or doctor and also talk with a chaplain or spiritual leader. Each can help in different ways.

• “My beliefs are really important to me, and I’m going through a hard time with them.”
• “I’ve been having experiences that scare me, and I’d like help.”
• “Can you help me in a way that respects my faith or path?”

SAMHSA suggests telling the person you care, expressing concern and support, and talking where they feel safe and comfortable.

Try saying

• “What gives you strength right now?”
• “I may not see it the same way, but I want to understand what it means to you.”
• “It sounds like your beliefs are shifting. That can feel lonely. I’m here.”
• “Is there a practice or place that helps you feel at peace? Can I join you?”

• Turning their pain into a debate about who is right
• Pushing your own beliefs or practices on them
• “That’s not a real religion,” or mocking their path
• “You’re just going through a phase.”
• Telling them their struggle is caused by their beliefs, or by losing them

• Invite them on an awe walk or to sit in nature together
• Offer to come along to a meditation class, gathering or ritual they value
• Help them find a counselor who respects their beliefs, or a chaplain
• Keep inviting them to plans, even if they pull back
• Help with everyday tasks when life feels heavy

SAMHSA suggests offering help with everyday tasks and continuing to include people in plans without being overbearing.

Spiritual struggles, like feeling abandoned, angry or lost, are common during illness and loss, and research links strong struggles with more emotional distress. Talking about them helps more than carrying them alone.

Let the person set the pace. Some find their way back to an old path, some find a new one, and some live with open questions. Each can be a valid outcome.

NIMH warning signs include talking about wanting to die or being a burden, feeling hopeless, empty or trapped, withdrawing and giving away belongings. Act quickly if these are new or getting worse.

The 5 action steps (988 Lifeline)

1. Ask: “Are you thinking about suicide?”
2. Be there.
3. Help keep them safe.
4. Help them connect to 988 or other support.
5. Follow up.

Supporting someone through a spiritual or emotional crisis can stir up your own questions. Keep up whatever restores you, whether that is prayer, meditation, time outdoors or friends, and talk to someone you trust.