Cults & high-control groups: how they work

Every group has beliefs. In a high-control group, the beliefs are treated as the one and only truth, and questions about them are not welcome.

The beliefs can be religious, political, about health, about money, or about personal growth. The topic matters less than how the beliefs are used.

ICSA describes cultic groups as having strong demands that come from their beliefs. Members may be asked to give more and more time, money and loyalty.

Langone, a leading researcher, sums it up this way: for these groups, obedience is not enough. They want members to believe completely too.

Researchers describe a steady mix of pressure, control and manipulation that pushes members toward obedience and dependence on the group.

Langone explains that leaders try to reshape followers’ identities, so they keep serving the group even when the leader is not around.

Some scholars, mostly in sociology and religious studies, call these groups “new religious movements.” They worry that words like “manipulation” can be used to attack religion itself.

Many health workers and support groups use a “functional” view instead: a group is harmful if it uses coercive control on its members, whatever it believes.

A Cambridge University Press review notes that most scholars of religion reject “brainwashing” theory as unscientific, but the debate continues.

Experts like Steven Hassan use terms such as “mind control” and “undue influence” to describe specific methods that shape how a person thinks, feels and acts.

Both sides agree on something important: people in these groups are not robots. They make choices, but within a world the group has narrowed.

Sociologist Janja Lalich, drawing partly on her own years in a political group, uses the term “bounded choice.” Members make decisions that look irrational from outside, but feel right within the group’s world and match their highest hopes.

Researcher Alexandra Stein explains cults through attachment, the deep bonds people need to feel safe. She argues leaders control followers’ relationships so that, emotionally isolated, they lose the ability to act in their own interests.

She describes a mix of fear and affection that wears down clear thinking. The same pattern can show up in states, extremist groups and controlling relationships.

The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) warns about schemes that push you to recruit, use high-pressure tactics, discourage you from researching the company, or push you to buy more stock than you can sell.

The FTC says most people who join multi-level marketing businesses make little or no money, and some lose money.

Hassan’s BITE Model lists time spent on group teaching, including on the internet, and control through phones, texts and tracking.

An online group can still isolate you, tell you what to think and make you afraid of outsiders, even if you never meet in person.

Controlling groups can form around any political idea or cause. Lalich studied a political group she had belonged to, alongside a religious one, and found similar patterns.

The warning signs are the same: one leader or line that can’t be questioned, insiders versus outsiders, and pressure to give everything.

Most people in the large former-member study came from religious groups, but that partly reflects who took part. ICSA notes control can also happen in mainstream groups, which usually answer to higher authorities.

About 1 in 9 groups in the former-member study were personal growth or therapy-style groups.

Watch for a leader who says only they can help you, discourages outside professionals, or asks for more and more money for the next level.

Hassan notes not every group or relationship uses every tactic, but the BITE Model applies to relationships as well as groups. Stein describes the same patterns in controlling personal relationships.

Examples from the BITE Model

• Controlling clothing and hairstyles
• Controlling food, drink and fasting
• Controlling money, or making you depend on the group for it
• Deciding where, how and with whom you live
• Discouraging individual choices and encouraging group-think
• Keeping you very busy with group activities
• Limiting free time, fun and vacations
• Needing permission for major decisions
• Rewards and punishments to shape behavior
• Sleep loss

At the extreme end, the model also lists threats to family and friends, separating families and physical harm.

Examples from the BITE Model

• Deception: hiding, twisting or lying about information
• Discouraging outside news, books, websites and critical information
• Encouraging members to watch and report on each other
• Keeping some teachings secret for insiders or higher levels
• Keeping you too busy to think or look things up
• Steering you away from former members
• Using group-made media and quotes taken out of context

Hassan says deception is found in nearly every high-control group.

Examples from the BITE Model

• Accepting the group’s “map of reality” as the only reality
• Black-and-white thinking: good versus evil, us versus them
• Changing a person’s name or identity
• Forbidding questions about the leader or teachings
• Loaded language and slogans that cut thinking short
• Rejecting critical thinking and helpful criticism
• Teaching “thought-stopping” to push away doubts

Examples from the BITE Model

• Blaming you for every problem, never the leader or group
• Fear of the outside world, of thinking independently, or of leaving
• Feelings of guilt or unworthiness
• Labeling some feelings or needs as wrong or selfish
• Ritual, sometimes public, confession
• Swinging between praise and harsh criticism
• Teaching you to block feelings like homesickness, anger or doubt

Hassan describes thought-stopping as techniques that block reality-testing by stopping “negative” thoughts and allowing only “positive” ones.

Chanting, singing, praying or meditating can be healthy. They become thought-stopping when they are used on purpose to shut down every question or doubt.

Lifton called it “loading the language”: complex problems get squeezed into short, final-sounding phrases. Hassan describes clichés that narrow knowledge and stop critical thoughts.

Over time, the group’s words can shape what members are able to think and feel. The Lalich Center notes imagination can weaken from disuse.

Hassan describes “phobia indoctrination”: building irrational fears about leaving or questioning the leader.

Fears groups may plant

• That happiness is impossible outside the group
• That leaving brings disaster, illness or punishment
• That there is never a good reason to leave
• That those who leave are weak or bad
• That you will lose everyone you love

These fears can feel completely real, even years after leaving. They were taught, and they can be unlearned.

The BITE Model lists black-and-white thinking and organizing people into insiders versus outsiders. Lifton called the extreme version “dispensing of existence”: outsiders are seen as lost or less worthy.

This makes it easier to cut ties with family and to dismiss any warning from outside.

The BITE Model describes extreme emotional highs and lows: love bombing and praise one moment, then being told you are terrible.

This pattern keeps people working hard for approval. The “Trauma bonding” guide in this app explains why hot-and-cold treatment creates such strong bonds.

Lifton described a “cult of confession,” where members confess faults, often in groups. Hassan notes confessions can later be used to break down a person’s boundaries.

The constant push for purity feeds guilt and shame, which keep people close and obedient.

Lifton described control over the whole environment of communication. Isolation and distance from outside contact help keep it in place.

Lifton called this “planned spontaneity.” Staged experiences can make a leader seem to have special or divine authority.

Because no one can be perfect, members feel ongoing guilt and shame, which the group can use as a lever.

The Lalich Center notes that repeated total disclosure can leave a person feeling owned by the group.

Lifton noted the teachings are often presented as scientific or ultimate truth, giving members a simple, secure view of the world.

Lifton borrowed the phrase “language of non-thought” for slogans that seem to answer hard questions but actually stop thinking.

Doubts are treated as a personal failing. Lifton noted this clash is a major reason people eventually leave.

This creates fear and a strong us-versus-them divide, making the outside world feel dangerous.

The BITE Model lists keeping members busy with group activities and limiting free time. Singer described gaining control of a person’s time.

Missing birthdays, holidays and visits often starts with “just this once” and slowly becomes the norm.

Hassan lists dictating where, how and with whom a member lives, and who they associate with or are kept away from.

The BITE Model lists guilt messages like “your family is deficient” and “your past is suspect.” Former members in one study described being taught that outsiders were threatening or judgmental.

Hassan says nearly every high-control group teaches people to distrust critics and former members.

This means the very people who could offer another view are the ones members are taught to avoid.

The BITE Model lists cutting off outside information and controlling members through phones, texts and internet tracking.

Hassan lists shunning of those who leave, and fear of being rejected by friends and family. Former members in one study described being separated from parents or shunned by relatives in the group.

Former members in a Swedish study said support from other former members was highly valued during the hard in-between time after leaving.

ICSA notes victims often blame themselves and each other instead of the group. Learning how influence works can ease that self-blame.

A counseling association notes that anyone could be drawn in, especially during hard life moments.

Langone suggests professionals ask neutrally about group influences and avoid the word “cult” unless the person uses it. Improving the relationship is sometimes the most important goal.