Hindu festivals, fasting & wellbeing

Diwali celebrates the “victory of light over darkness, good over evil, knowledge over ignorance, and hope over despair.” People wear new clothes, do puja, exchange gifts, clean the home, light oil lamps and set off fireworks. It often spans five days and, for many Hindus, marks the New Year.

Holi falls in late February or early March. On its eve, some burn an effigy of Holika to remember the young devotee Prahlada. Many also link Holi with Krishna’s love for Radha. It is best known for playful throwing of coloured powder and water.

Navaratri, in September or October, honours the Goddess as Shakti, with stories of Durga overcoming the demon Mahisha. The tenth day, Dussehra, often marks Rama’s victory over Ravana from the Ramayana.

Stories of the Goddess’s strength can be a reminder that inner battles can be won, often with help from others.

Janmashtami celebrates the birth of Krishna, usually in August or September. Fasting starts the day before and lasts until midnight, when prayers are offered in temples decorated with leaves and flowers.

Maha Shivaratri, in February or March, honours Shiva. Ganesh Chaturthi, in August or September, honours Ganesh, with the story of how he received his elephant head.

Many people pray to Ganesh before starting something new or hard. Naming an obstacle out loud, then one small step past it, can be a calming practice.

At Raksha Bandhan, usually in August, a sister ties a rakhi around her brother’s wrist as a sign of love, and he gives a gift as a promise to protect her.

It can be a gentle reason to reach out to a sibling or cousin you have lost touch with, or to someone who feels like family.

Loneliness can feel sharper when lights and music are everywhere. It is a common human feeling, not a sign that something is wrong with you.

Small steps

• Go to the temple for one aarti, even alone
• Message one person to wish them a happy festival
• Offer seva at a community meal
• Plan one small treat for yourself

Big gatherings can bring up comments about weight, jobs, marriage or children. Planning ahead can help you stay steady.

Ideas

• Prepare a short, friendly answer for awkward questions
• Take breaks: help in the kitchen, walk outside, play with the children
• Agree a signal with a partner or sibling if you need to leave
• Keep visits shorter if they always end in conflict

Festivals can come with pressure to spend. The heart of a festival is devotion and togetherness, not price tags.

Ways to keep costs down

• Set a budget before the season starts
• Make sweets or cards by hand
• Suggest a family gift swap instead of gifts for everyone
• Offer time and seva instead of things

Photos of big parties and matching outfits show only the best moments. Comparing your real life to someone’s highlights can leave you feeling low.

Ways to remember

• Light a lamp by their photo
• Cook their favourite festival dish
• Share a story about them at the family meal
• Give to a cause they cared about in their name

The Gita says even a small offering made with love is accepted: “a leaf, a flower, a fruit, water” (Gita 9:26, Besant).

Some people find comfort in keeping traditions. Others need a quieter year. You can join for the puja and skip the party, or step out when it gets too much.

Ways to help

• Send a message: “Thinking of you and your mother this Diwali”
• Bring sweets or a meal, if the family welcomes it
• Invite them gently, and accept a “no” without pressure
• Say the person’s name and share a memory

Where to look

• Local temples, which often host festival events open to all
• Hindu, Indian or South Asian student groups on campus
• Community centres and cultural associations
• Online satsang or bhajan groups

Ideas

• Do aarti together over a video call
• Cook the same recipe at the same time
• Ask a grandparent to tell the festival story
• Send photos of your lamps or rangoli

Invite friends, roommates or coworkers of any background to share sweets, light lamps or play Holi. Explaining your festival to others can help you feel proud and connected.

“Verily yoga is not for him who eateth too much, nor who abstaineth to excess, nor who is too much addicted to sleep, nor even to wakefulness, O Arjuna.” (Gita 6:16, Besant)

“Yoga killeth out all pain for him who is regulated in eating and amusement, regulated in performing actions, regulated in sleeping and waking.” (Gita 6:17, Besant)

The Gita criticises severe austerities driven by vanity and desire, which end up “tormenting the aggregated elements forming the body, and Me also, seated in the inner body” (Gita 17:6, Besant).

In other words, hurting your body is not a sign of greater devotion. The Divine is present within you, and caring for your body honours that.

“Mental happiness, equilibrium, silence, self-control, purity of nature—these are called the austerity of the mind.” (Gita 17:16, Besant)

Ideas for a fast of the mind

• A day without gossip or harsh words
• An hour of silence and prayer
• A break from social media
• Choosing patience in a hard conversation

Check with your clinical provider before fasting if you

• Are an older adult or a growing child or teen
• Are pregnant or breastfeeding
• Have diabetes, heart, kidney or other long-term health conditions
• Have ever had an eating disorder
• Take any regular treatment from your clinical provider

Options to discuss with your family or pujari

• A partial fast, such as fruit and milk, or skipping grains
• Fasting for part of the day only
• Giving up one thing, like sweets or screens
• Offering extra prayer, japa, seva or charity instead

Stop your fast, drink water and eat if you

• Feel dizzy, faint or confused
• Have a pounding heart or bad headache
• Feel very weak or cannot think clearly

It may be worth talking to someone if

• You fast more often or more strictly than your family or tradition asks
• You feel relief or pride about being hungry
• You feel panic or guilt about eating on non-fast days
• You eat a lot very quickly after fasting and then feel ashamed
• Others are worried about your weight or energy

If you have had an eating disorder, talk with your treatment team before any fast. Health comes first. You can honour a holy day through prayer, music and seva instead.

Ways to help

• Keep fasts for children short and gentle, if at all
• Praise devotion and kindness, not how long someone went without food
• Avoid comments about weight or body size at festival meals
• If you are worried, talk with your child’s clinical provider

Safety tips from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission

• Keep children away from fireworks, including sparklers, which can burn at about 2,000°F
• Keep a bucket of water or a hose nearby
• Light one at a time, then step back quickly
• Never relight a firework that did not go off; wait, then soak it in water
• Never point fireworks at people, animals or buildings
• The safest choice is to watch a public display

Packed temples, loud music and fireworks can be hard for people with anxiety, trauma, autism or sensory sensitivities. Planning ahead can help everyone enjoy the day.

Ideas

• Go at a quieter time of day
• Bring ear protection for children and anyone sensitive to noise
• Find a quiet corner and take breaks
• Agree a meeting place in case you get separated

Tips

• Ask before putting colour on someone, and respect a “no”
• Protect eyes, and rinse with clean water if colour gets in
• Choose skin-friendly colours where you can
• See a clinical provider if skin or eyes stay sore

U.S. crisis lines

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org
• Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741
• Emergency: call 911 if a life is in danger

When you call 988, you can ask for an interpreter in more than 240 languages. Text and chat are in English and Spanish.

• A counselor or therapist (it is fine to ask for one who understands Hindu and South Asian culture)
• A pujari, swami or trusted elder
• Your clinical provider, especially about fasting and health
• A school or college counselor

Ideas for temples, families and friends

• Invite students, new arrivals and elders who live alone to festival meals
• Remember families who are grieving this year
• Offer non-fasting options and water at events
• Create quiet spaces at busy celebrations
• Check in after the festival, when the lights go down

Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) is a free directory of crisis lines in many countries. You can search by country and by what you need.