Buddhist practices for hard times

In this guide

• Boundless goodwill: love with no conditions
• Impermanence, loss and grief
• Loving-kindness (metta), including toward yourself
• Mindfulness, accurately explained
• Nature, trees and the path
• Sangha and compassion in action
• When meditation feels hard
• When to reach out for more help

In the Sona Sutta (Anguttara Nikaya 6.55), the Buddha compares effort to tuning a lute: not too tight, not too loose. A short, steady practice you can keep is better than a long one that leaves you worn out.

A first step

1. Choose one practice from this guide.
2. Pick a time and place, like five minutes after breakfast.
3. Try it for one week.
4. Notice how you feel before and after, using “My daily practice” worksheet.

Practice and professional care go together. Seeing a counselor or doctor is not a failure of practice. It can be part of the path of caring wisely for yourself.

Dhammapada 276 says: “You yourselves must strive; the Buddhas only point the way.” A therapist can also be one who points the way.

In the sutta, the meditator notices whether each breath is long or short, trains to be aware of the whole body, and calms the body as they breathe. They also stay alert in everyday actions like walking, sitting and eating.

Try 5 minutes

1. Sit comfortably, with your back upright but relaxed.
2. Let your breathing be natural.
3. Notice: “Breathing in long… breathing out short.”
4. When your mind wanders, notice where it went, and gently return to the breath.
5. Let your body soften a little with each out-breath.

Here, “feelings” means the basic tone of an experience: pleasant, painful or neither. The meditator simply notices which it is (Majjhima Nikaya 10).

This helps because we often react to an unpleasant feeling before we even notice it, by scrolling, snacking or snapping at someone. Noticing “this is unpleasant” gives you a moment to choose a wiser response.

The meditator recognizes their state of mind: is there greed, aversion or confusion? Is the mind scattered or focused? (Majjhima Nikaya 10). Just knowing “the mind is restless right now” already creates a little space.

The fourth frame includes noticing the hindrances, such as desire, ill will, sluggishness, restlessness and doubt, and the qualities that support awakening (Majjhima Nikaya 10).

In everyday words: learning to notice what pulls you down, and what helps you grow. Many teachers suggest meeting hindrances with curiosity rather than frustration. See “When meditation feels hard” for practical tips.

According to the U.S. National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, studies suggest mindfulness approaches may help with stress, anxiety, depression and sleep for some people, though the quality of research varies.

Meditation is usually low-risk, but a small number of people feel more anxious or low during practice. It should not replace care from a provider or delay getting help.

In the Rajan Sutta (Udana 5.1), the Buddha says: “Searching all directions with your awareness, you find no one dearer than yourself.” He goes on to say that others, too, hold themselves dear, so if you love yourself, you should not harm others.

Caring for yourself is not selfish in this teaching. It is the ground for caring for others. Many teachers begin loving-kindness practice with oneself for this reason.

Metta practice means gently repeating kind wishes, first for yourself, then for others. It is not about forcing a warm feeling. It is about planting a seed of goodwill and letting it grow.

Try it

1. Sit comfortably and take a few slow breaths.
2. Say silently: “May I be safe. May I be well. May I be at ease.”
3. Picture someone you love, and wish them the same.
4. Picture someone neutral, like a shopkeeper, and wish them the same.
5. If you feel ready, include someone difficult.
6. End with: “May all beings be at ease.”

Loving-kindness can become part of ordinary moments: a silent wish for the person next to you on the bus, a patient word to a family member, letting go of a small irritation.

Ideas

• Before sleep, wish all beings rest and ease
• Forgive a small mistake, yours or someone else’s
• Send a kind message to someone who is struggling
• Silently wish “May you be well” to people you pass

In the Metta Sutta (Anguttara Nikaya 11.16), the Buddha lists benefits of developing goodwill. The first are: “One sleeps easily, wakes easily, dreams no evil dreams.”

Studies of meditation practices suggest they may help with stress, anxiety, low mood and sleep for some people, though the quality of research varies.

Unconditional goodwill does not mean you must like everyone, agree with them or stay close to them. You can wish someone free from suffering while keeping a safe distance.

Dhammapada 5 says: “Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased.” Your own heart is lighter when it is not consumed by anger.

Many people can wish others well but feel they must earn kindness for themselves. “Omitting none” includes you (Sutta Nipata 1.8). Your welfare matters on good days and bad days alike.

Ways to practice

• After a mistake, say: “May I be patient with myself.”
• Let others care for you. Receiving kindness is part of the practice.
• Notice one thing you did well today, however small.
• When you feel unlovable, place a hand on your heart and breathe slowly.

Traditional phrases are a good start, but you can shape your own. Simple, honest wishes are easier to believe on hard days than grand ones.

Examples

• “May I be gentle with myself today.”
• “May I find rest.”
• “May my family be safe.”
• “May all who are hurting feel some ease.”

When you are in a dark mood, it can feel permanent. Impermanence reminds us that feelings are more like weather than climate. They rise, change and pass, especially when we do not keep feeding them with more worried thoughts.

A short practice

1. Notice the feeling and name it: “This is fear.”
2. Notice how it feels in your body.
3. Watch it for a few breaths. Does it change at all?
4. Remind yourself: “This, too, is changing.”

In a well-known story from the commentary to the Therigatha, a young mother named Gotami carries her son’s body from door to door, looking for a cure. The Buddha asks her to bring a mustard seed from a house that has never known death.

Everyone she asks would give a seed, but every household has lost someone. Slowly she understands that loss touches every family. Her grief eases, she lays her son to rest, and she later becomes a nun.

Knowing that all things change can help us treasure people and moments while we have them. But in grief, hearing “everything is impermanent” can also feel cold. Let yourself mourn.

Some suttas, like the Salla Sutta (Sutta Nipata 3.8), describe grief as an arrow and encourage pulling it out, because “not by weeping & grief do you gain peace of awareness.” This describes the goal of practice over time. It is not a rule that you must stop crying now.

Many Buddhist communities hold memorial chanting and offer support to grieving families. Many Buddhists also dedicate the good of their practice or generosity to a relative who has died. Customs differ widely between traditions and cultures.

Gentle ways to remember

• Ask your temple about memorial services or chanting
• Light a candle or incense at a home shrine
• Offer an act of generosity in their name
• Wish them well in your metta practice

Restlessness is one of the hindrances named in the sutta (Majjhima Nikaya 10). Noticing “restless mind” is already mindfulness at work.

Try

• Count each out-breath from one to ten, then start again
• Shorten your sit to a few minutes
• Switch to walking meditation for a while
• Use a soft label: “planning”, “worrying”

Sluggishness is another hindrance in the sutta (Majjhima Nikaya 10). The Sona Sutta’s lute reminds us to find balanced effort: not too tight, not too loose (Anguttara Nikaya 6.55).

Try

• Open your eyes and look slightly downward
• Practice at a time you feel more awake
• Sit up a little straighter, or stand
• Take a few deeper breaths

If meditation brings up painful memories or makes you feel worse, it is okay to stop. Open your eyes, feel your feet on the floor, and name a few things you can see around you.

Gentler options

• Keep your eyes open during practice
• Focus on sounds or your hands instead of the breath
• Practice with a teacher present
• Try movement, like walking meditation

Doubt is also named among the hindrances (Majjhima Nikaya 10). Many practitioners wonder whether they are doing it right. Coming back to the breath, again and again, is the practice.

At the end of one teaching, the Buddha tells the monks: “Over there are the roots of trees; over there, empty dwellings. Practice jhana, monks. Don’t be heedless” (Majjhima Nikaya 19). Forest practice is still alive today in forest monasteries in many countries.

Time in nature also helps the mind. A study of nearly 20,000 people in England found that people who spent at least 120 minutes a week in nature were more likely to report good health and wellbeing, whether that time came in one visit or several shorter ones.

In Anguttara Nikaya 5.29, the Buddha lists five rewards of walking meditation, including that “the concentration he wins while doing walking meditation lasts for a long time.”

Try 10 minutes outside

1. Choose a short, safe path, in a park or garden.
2. Walk a little slower than usual.
3. Feel each foot lift, move and touch the ground.
4. Notice the air, sounds and colors around you.
5. When your mind wanders, gently come back to your steps.

Nature shows impermanence everywhere: blossoms fall, leaves turn, clouds pass, rivers keep moving. Watching these changes can make “All conditioned things are impermanent” (Dhammapada 277) feel gentle rather than frightening.

Dhammapada 49 says: “As a bee gathers honey from the flower without injuring its color or fragrance, even so the sage goes on his alms-round in the village.” It is a picture of taking what we need while doing no harm.

Caring for living things is good for the mind too. A 2017 analysis of 22 studies linked gardening with less depression and anxiety, and more life satisfaction and sense of community. In a study of 1,292 people, seeing or hearing birds was linked with better wellbeing that lasted beyond the moment, including for people with depression.

Ideas

• Grow flowers or herbs, and offer some at your shrine
• Help with a temple or community garden
• Put out water for birds and pause to listen to them
• Take a slow walk and wish metta to every living thing you see

Sangha is one of the Three Jewels, alongside the Buddha and the Dharma. Being with people who share your values, sitting, chanting or simply sharing tea, can make you feel supported and less alone.

Ways to find sangha

• Attend festivals like Vesak and stay to help or talk
• Find an online sitting group if you live far away
• Join a meditation group at a temple or center
• Join a youth, family or seniors group

Compassion (karuna) is the wish for others to be free from suffering, turned into action. Many Buddhist communities run food drives, visit the sick and support families in need.

Ideas

• Help prepare a meal at your temple
• Listen fully to a friend who is struggling
• Visit an elder who lives alone
• Volunteer at a food bank or animal shelter

Monks, nuns and lay teachers can offer guidance on practice and a listening ear. Many temples are also places of culture, language and family life, which help people feel at home.

How a community can help

• Checking in on members who seem withdrawn
• Keeping a list of local counselors and helplines
• Supporting families after a loss
• Talking openly about mental health in Dharma talks