Talking with spirits, deities & other entities: meaning, safety & mental health

The Catholic Church teaches that the saints in heaven continue to pray for people on earth. Many Catholics ask a favourite saint, or Mary, to pray for them in hard times, and also pray for loved ones who have died.

In Hindu homes, puja is often offered daily at a small shrine: water, incense, food, light and prayer offered with love to a deity. Many people feel a close, personal relationship with the deity they honour.

Many Pagans also build relationships with one or more deities through prayer and offerings.

In many cultures, ancestors are honoured and spoken to as part of the family. Modern Heathens, for example, honour ancestors, spirits of the land and the gods with offerings.

Spiritualism, a religion that began in New York in 1848, is based on communication with people in the spirit world. Spiritualists describe a medium as someone sensitive to the spirit world, through whom messages can come.

In many Indigenous and shamanic traditions around the world, trained people enter trance-like states to interact with spirits, often to seek guidance or healing for others. Modern shamanic practitioners may also “journey” with drumming.

The World Health Organization’s disease classification is clear that trance and possession experiences that are part of an accepted cultural or religious practice are not a disorder.

Some people understand gods, spirits and guides as real beings. Others see them as poetic or psychological ways of expressing deep truths, or as parts of their own inner wisdom. Many sit somewhere in between, and that is okay too.

Many grieving people sense, hear, see or feel a loved one who has died. A large research review found the vast majority of these experiences are harmless, and are best understood in light of the person’s relationship, life story and culture.

Praying, asking a saint or deity for help, or listening for a guide can bring calm and a sense of direction. Guidance tends to work best alongside your own judgment and advice from people you trust, especially for big decisions.

Honouring ancestors, saints or deities connects many people to family, culture and community. It can be a source of pride and identity, especially for people whose traditions have been looked down on.

Some people simply feel a sense of wonder and connection when they pray or sit quietly with the unseen. That feeling of meaning can be a real support on hard days.

Being very short of sleep, very hungry or unwell can make the mind more likely to hear or see things that aren’t there. Practising when you are rested and fed helps you stay clear.

• Avoid practising when you are exhausted or very hungry.
• Keep alcohol and drugs out of spiritual practice.
• Return to ordinary life afterwards: eat, drink water, move your body.

• Choose a set time and stop when it ends.
• Practise in a place where you feel safe.
• Learn from an experienced, trusted teacher in your tradition.
• Practise with others if you tend to feel anxious alone.
• It is always okay to stop.

After a practice, ask: “Do I feel calmer, more loving, more connected? Or more afraid, tired or confused?” Over time, your answers show you what is good for you.

1. Put both feet flat on the floor and feel them.
2. Name 5 things you can see.
3. Name 4 things you can touch, and touch them.
4. Name 3 things you can hear.
5. Name 2 things you can smell, and 1 you can taste.
6. Take three slow breaths, with a longer breath out.

About 7.6% of people have had sleep paralysis at least once, and it is more common in students. It can be very frightening and often comes with vivid, dream-like experiences. Many cultures have explained it with spirits or demons. Most people who have it are not seriously distressed, and help is available if it troubles you.

Hearing or seeing things just as you fall asleep or wake up is also common and is not usually a sign of illness.

• Breathe out slowly, longer than you breathe in.
• Turn on a light and name where you are.
• Hold something comforting, or say a prayer or phrase that helps you.
• Call or text someone you trust.
• Use the grounding practice in “Staying grounded.”

If you can’t stop worrying that you’ve offended a spirit, sinned, or been cursed, and you feel driven to repeat prayers or rituals to feel safe, this pattern can be a form of anxiety that responds well to help.

A trusted friend, faith leader, chaplain or counselor can help you make sense of what happened. Counselors trained in spiritual competencies are asked to respond to spiritual experiences with acceptance and sensitivity.

The psychics were more likely to say they could bring the voices on and stop them at will. Many said this grew with practice.

The psychics rated their voices as causing little or no distress and often saw them as kind. People with psychosis felt much more distress and heard voices far more often, several times an hour on average.

The psychics were more likely to say people reacted well when they first shared their experiences. Negative reactions were linked with more strain in relationships.

In a study of people with schizophrenia in the U.S., India and Ghana, many in India and Ghana described voices as familiar, even playful, and half of those in Ghana said their voices were mostly positive. Many in the U.S. described harsh, violent voices.

NIMH notes that changes often show up before psychosis develops, such as becoming very suspicious, having trouble thinking clearly, pulling away from people, sleep changes, struggling to care for yourself, or a sudden drop at school or work.

If you notice changes like these, especially along with voices or visions, it is worth talking to your clinical provider soon. Early help often means better recovery.

• You want to harm yourself or someone else, or voices tell you to
• You feel very agitated or aggressive
• Experiences are quickly getting worse
• You or someone else suddenly becomes confused or stops making sense

Hearing or seeing things can also come from being very short of sleep, a high temperature, migraines, being very hungry, or alcohol and drugs. A doctor can help rule these out.

Counselors trained in spiritual competencies are asked to understand a client’s spiritual perspective, recognise that it can support wellbeing, and set goals that fit the client’s beliefs.

Things you can say

• “My faith is important to me. I’d like you to respect it.”
• “I’d like help with the fear and the sleep problems.”
• “Can my prayer or practice be part of my coping plan?”

• They say something bad will happen unless you pay.
• They keep finding new problems that need more paid work.
• They promise results no one can control, like health, money or love.
• They pressure you to decide quickly or keep it secret.

• Talk to someone you trust before paying for anything.
• Agree on the full cost up front, in writing.
• Never share bank or card access.
• Don’t make big life decisions based on a reading, especially while grieving.

If you paid for a service that wasn’t delivered, you can report it to the Federal Trade Commission at ReportFraud.ftc.gov or to the BBB Scam Tracker. If you were threatened or pressured into paying, contact your local FBI field office.

If you are longing to hear from someone who has died, free support like grief groups, faith communities, chaplains and counselors can help you carry that love. Writing to them or keeping a remembrance space at home can help too.

• Ask “What is it like for you?” and listen.
• Don’t mock, argue or try to prove them wrong.
• Ask whether the experience feels comforting or frightening.
• Respect their faith, even if it differs from yours.

Gently notice changes in sleep, eating, self-care, friendships or work. If things are getting harder, encourage them to see a doctor, and offer to go with them.

If they talk about harming themselves or others, or voices telling them to, stay with them if it’s safe and call or text 988. Call 911 if anyone is in immediate danger.

A trusted priest, imam, rabbi, pandit, granthi, elder or chaplain can help you understand an experience within your tradition, and can work alongside your clinical provider.

The Hearing Voices Network offers groups where people who hear voices or have other unusual experiences support each other, whatever they believe about them.