Following Jesus: love, rest & caring for others

When Jesus visited the home of Martha and Mary, Mary “sat at Jesus’ feet and heard his word. But Martha was distracted with much serving.” (Luke 10:39–40, WEB) Martha asked Jesus to tell her sister to help.

Jesus answered: “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is needed. Mary has chosen the good part, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41–42, WEB)

Notice that Jesus says her name twice. Many readers hear warmth in that, not scolding. Martha was serving out of love. Jesus was inviting her to pause, and to know she did not have to hold everything together by herself.

Try this

• Ask yourself: “What is the one thing that matters most today?”
• Notice when being busy is a way of avoiding a feeling.
• Take five quiet minutes with God before the to-do list.

Jesus said: “Consider the ravens: they don’t sow, they don’t reap, they have no warehouse or barn, and God feeds them. How much more valuable are you than birds!” (Luke 12:24, WEB)

Then he asked: “Which of you by being anxious can add a cubit to his height? If then you aren’t able to do even the least things, why are you anxious about the rest?” (Luke 12:25–26, WEB) A cubit is about 18 inches.

This is honest about what worry can and cannot do. Planning helps. Going over the same fear again and again usually does not. Jesus reminds people of their worth, and invites them to lay down what they cannot control.

In the prayer Jesus taught, often called the Lord’s Prayer, he asks: “Give us today our daily bread.” (Matthew 6:11, WEB) It asks for what is needed today, not for the whole year at once.

Living one day at a time can be a gift when your mind keeps running ahead. You can plan for tomorrow and still let tomorrow wait until it comes.

A “today only” check-in

1. Name what you need just for today: rest, food, a call, a task.
2. Ask God for that, in your own words.
3. Write down any worry about later, and set a time to think about it.
4. Come back to today.

“But he withdrew himself into the desert and prayed.” (Luke 5:16, WEB) This comes right after news about Jesus was spreading and great crowds were coming to him.

Another time: “After he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into the mountain by himself to pray. When evening had come, he was there alone.” (Matthew 14:23, WEB)

Ways to step away

• A short walk without your phone
• Five quiet minutes in your car before going inside
• A set time each week with no plans
• Sitting outside with a cup of tea and a simple prayer

When John the Baptist was killed, his followers buried him and went to tell Jesus. “Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place apart.” (Matthew 14:13, WEB)

Jesus needed space after hard news. Wanting quiet after a loss is human. It is okay to step back, and also okay to let people come close when you are ready.

“A big wind storm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so much that the boat was already filled. He himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion.” (Mark 4:37–38, WEB)

The disciples woke him in fear. He “rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace! Be still!’” (Mark 4:39, WEB) Jesus’s body needed sleep, and he took it. Sleep is not a lack of faith or a waste of time.

CDC recommends that adults get at least 7 hours of sleep each day. Many people get less.

“But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion for them because they were harassed and scattered, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matthew 9:36, WEB)

Jesus saw people who were worn out and lost, and his first response was compassion. If you feel scattered, overwhelmed or not sure where to turn, this is how he looks at you too.

A man with leprosy came to Jesus, kneeling and begging for help. “Being moved with compassion, he stretched out his hand, and touched him, and said to him, ‘I want to. Be made clean.’” (Mark 1:41, WEB)

People living with mental health conditions can feel cut off and judged, as if others keep their distance. Jesus could have healed him with a word. Instead, he reached out and touched him. His followers are invited to move toward people who feel left out, too.

Matthew describes Jesus with words “spoken through Isaiah the prophet” (Matthew 12:17, WEB): “He won’t break a bruised reed. He won’t quench a smoking flax, until he leads justice to victory.” (Matthew 12:20, WEB)

A bruised reed is bent and fragile. A smoking flax is a lamp wick that has almost gone out. Jesus does not crush what is fragile. He treats people gently when they are at their weakest.

Try this

• When you feel like a bruised reed, read this verse slowly.
• Ask: “Am I treating myself more harshly than Jesus would?”
• Speak to yourself as gently as you would to a hurting friend.

A woman who had been ill for twelve years reached out in a crowd and touched Jesus’s clothes. He stopped and looked for her. “He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be cured of your disease.’” (Mark 5:34, WEB)

He did not just heal her quietly. He called her “daughter” in front of everyone. After years of being left out, she was seen and welcomed back.

Jesus met a widow in the town of Nain whose only son had died. “When the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, ‘Don’t cry.’” (Luke 7:13, WEB)

When his friend Lazarus died, “When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews weeping who came with her, he groaned in the spirit and was troubled.” (John 11:33, WEB) Jesus felt the pain of loss deeply.

Jesus told the story of a Samaritan who stopped to help a wounded stranger on the road. Then he asked who had been a neighbor to the hurt man. The answer: “He who showed mercy on him.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.” (Luke 10:37, WEB)

In the story, being a neighbor is not about where someone lives or what group they belong to. It is about stopping, noticing and helping.

“As you would like people to do to you, do exactly so to them.” (Luke 6:31, WEB) Many people call this the Golden Rule.

Jesus also said: “Therefore be merciful, even as your Father is also merciful.” (Luke 6:36, WEB)

Small ways to live it

• Bring a meal to someone going through a hard time
• Check in on a neighbor who lives alone
• Listen to someone without rushing to fix them
• Offer a ride to an appointment

Jesus said: “for I was hungry and you gave me food to eat. I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you took me in. I was naked and you clothed me. I was sick and you visited me. I was in prison and you came to me.” (Matthew 25:35–36, WEB)

Visiting someone in the hospital, sitting with a friend who is depressed, or welcoming someone new to town are all part of this.

A Cleveland Clinic psychologist notes that volunteering has been shown to lower stress, depression and anxiety, and to improve life satisfaction. It can also bring a deeper sense of purpose and a chance to meet new people.

Ways to start

• Choose a cause you care about
• Start small, like helping a neighbor or donating food
• Think about how much time you can really give
• Volunteer with family or friends from church

“Jesus therefore, being tired from his journey, sat down by the well. It was about the sixth hour.” (John 4:6, WEB) The sixth hour was around noon, the heat of the day.

Jesus noticed he was tired, and sat down. Noticing your body’s signals, like hunger, tiredness or tension, and responding to them, is a simple way to care for yourself.

After the resurrection, the disciples fished all night and caught nothing. When they came to shore, “they saw a fire of coals there, with fish and bread laid on it.” (John 21:9, WEB) Then “Jesus said to them, ‘Come and eat breakfast!’” (John 21:12, WEB)

Before anything else, Jesus fed his tired friends. Food, warmth and rest come first. When you are struggling, regular meals and sleep are not small things.

Jesus also enjoyed meals with all kinds of people. He said: “The Son of Man came eating and drinking.” (Matthew 11:19, WEB)

On the night before he died, Jesus prayed: “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42, WEB)

Jesus told God exactly what he wanted, even as he trusted him. You can be honest with God about your fear and pain too. He also asked his close friends: “Stay here and watch with me.” (Matthew 26:38, WEB) Asking for company is not weakness.

Relaxation practices can bring on the body’s “relaxation response”: slower breathing, lower blood pressure and a lower heart rate. One simple practice is taking slow, deep breaths.

Cleveland Clinic suggests breathing in for about four seconds and out for about six. Breathing out longer than in helps signal to your body that you are not in danger.

“Then Peter came and said to him, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I don’t tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven.’” (Matthew 18:21–22, WEB)

This can be read as a sign that forgiveness is often not a one-time event. Painful feelings may come back, and you may need to choose forgiveness again. That is normal.

While he was being crucified, “Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.’” (Luke 23:34, WEB)

Notice that Jesus brought this to God in prayer. When you cannot yet forgive someone yourself, you can start by asking God to help you, or simply telling God how much it hurts.

Jesus said: “Be careful. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive him.” (Luke 17:3, WEB)

Jesus did not ask people to pretend harm did not happen. Here he says to name it. Forgiveness and honesty about what happened can go together.

In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught: “Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12, WEB) He also said: “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father, who is in heaven, may also forgive you your transgressions.” (Mark 11:25, WEB)

Remembering the grace you have received can make it a little easier to offer grace to others, and to yourself.

Jesus said: “This is my commandment, that you love one another, even as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:12–13, WEB)

And: “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant doesn’t know what his lord does. But I have called you friends, for everything that I heard from my Father, I have made known to you.” (John 15:15, WEB)

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34–35, WEB)

A church that loves well is a place where people can say “I’m struggling” and be met with care, not judgment.

“Day by day, continuing steadfastly with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread at home, they took their food with gladness and singleness of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people.” (Acts 2:46–47, WEB)

Ways to share life

• Ask someone from church to grab a coffee
• Host a simple meal, even if it is just soup
• Join a small group or Bible study
• Sit with someone new after the service

Helpful things to say

• “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
• “Thank you for telling me.”
• “That sounds really hard.”
• “Would it help to talk, or would you rather just have company?”

Things to avoid

• Telling them to just pray more
• Suggesting their struggle is caused by weak faith or sin
• Quoting verses to make the feeling go away

Jesus said: “I was sick and you visited me.” (Matthew 25:36, WEB) Being present in practical ways is a way of loving him and the person in front of you.

Offer something specific

• “Can I bring dinner on Tuesday?”
• “I can drive you to your appointment.”
• “I’ll pick up the kids from school this week.”
• “Want to go for a short walk together?”

Gentle ways to pray

• Ask, “Would you like me to pray with you, or for you?”
• Keep prayers simple and kind
• Never share prayer requests without permission
• Pray for them, and also keep checking in

Ways to help

• Help them make a list of questions for a first appointment
• Offer to sit with them while they call a counselor
• Remind them that getting help is not a lack of faith
• Share “When faith and therapy meet” if they worry therapy will clash with their beliefs

Reach out now

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free, confidential, 24/7.
• Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741, 24/7.
• If a life is in danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) lists free, confidential helplines by phone, text or chat in many countries around the world. If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.

You can ask your church for

• A list of trusted local counselors
• Help with meals, rides or childcare while you recover
• Prayer support, kept private if you wish
• Support groups for grief, recovery or caregivers