Young Christians: faith, identity & belonging

You might start asking: What do I actually believe? Why do we do things this way? Is this real for me? These questions can feel scary, but they are often how faith becomes your own.

Ways to explore

• Read one of the Gospels on your own
• Write down your questions and prayers in a journal
• Ask a youth leader or pastor what they wondered about at your age
• Try a different kind of prayer, like silence or music

Samuel was a boy serving in the temple when God called him in the night. He thought it was the priest Eli. Finally Samuel answered: “Speak; for your servant hears.” (1 Samuel 3:10, WEB)

It took Samuel a few tries, and an older mentor, to understand what was happening. It is normal not to be sure. Trusted adults can help you listen.

Feeling far from God does not mean you have failed. Many people in scripture went through dry, quiet seasons.

“Then I said, ‘Ah, Lord Yahweh! Behold, I don’t know how to speak; for I am a child.’ But Yahweh said to me, ‘Don’t say, “I am a child;” for you must go to whomever I send you, and you must say whatever I command you. Don’t be afraid because of them, for I am with you to rescue you,’ says Yahweh.” (Jeremiah 1:6–8, WEB)

Feeling unsure or not ready is normal. It does not disqualify you.

In a Harvard study, young people who attended services weekly as teens were more likely to volunteer as young adults, compared with those who never attended.

Ideas

• Help with children’s ministry or music
• Join a service project or food drive
• Visit older church members
• Share your ideas with church leaders

People who might help

• A youth pastor or leader
• A campus minister or chaplain
• An older Christian you trust
• A friend who also asks questions

If someone makes you feel stupid or sinful for asking, that says more about them than about you.

Christians have wrestled with hard questions for two thousand years. You can read, pray, talk and take your time. Some questions stay open for a lifetime.

If questions about faith are keeping you up at night, making you feel panicky, or leaving you hopeless, talk with someone you trust and consider a counselor.

The Psalms are full of people telling God they were sad, angry and afraid. Being honest about how you feel is part of faith, not a lack of it.

Social media shows highlights, not real life. The friend who posts worship videos may be struggling too.

Try this

• Notice when scrolling leaves you feeling worse
• Mute accounts that make you feel “not holy enough”
• Talk to one real person about how you are really doing

If you keep confessing the same thing, need repeated reassurance, or feel you can never be sure God forgives you, this may be more than ordinary guilt. It can be treated.

Many young people feel God is disappointed in them. The “Christian faith & mental health” guide has a section on being loved without conditions.

You might feel awkward praying at lunch, skipping certain parties, or talking about church. You do not have to hide your faith, and you do not have to push it on anyone either.

What can help

• Find one friend who shares or respects your faith
• Join a faith club or youth group outside school
• Be kind and curious about others’ beliefs too

Cliques, feeling “not churchy enough,” or being the only one your age can make church feel lonely. Sometimes trying a different group, service or ministry helps.

You could also tell a leader you trust. Good leaders want to know when someone feels left out.

Online groups can connect you with other young Christians, especially if you live far from a church. Be cautious of groups that demand secrecy, cut you off from family, or pressure you to obey one leader.

Tips

• Look up churches or campus ministries before you move
• Try a place three times before deciding
• Look for a small group where people know your name
• Ask your home pastor for suggestions

Campus ministries can offer friends, worship and someone to talk to. Chaplains often support students of every background, and many colleges also have free counseling.

It is normal to feel homesick for familiar worship, people and traditions. Calling home, watching your home church online, or keeping a simple prayer routine can help while you settle in.

Children of immigrants and young people of color may feel pulled between their home church’s traditions and the world around them. Many find that their faith can hold both.

The Trevor Project found that about one in five LGBTQ+ young people said religion or spirituality is important to them. It calls the idea that LGBTQ+ people cannot be religious a misconception.

Christian churches hold different views on sexuality and gender. Whatever your church teaches, you deserve safety, kindness and support for your mental health.

Young people with disabilities, ADHD, autism or chronic illness sometimes find church hard: loud services, long sitting, or feeling misunderstood. It is okay to ask for what you need, like a quiet space or a role that fits you.

Tips

• Choose a quiet time, like a drive or a walk
• Start with what you still value
• Share your questions honestly, without attacking theirs
• Ask them what they wondered about at your age

Try saying

• “I’m not trying to upset you. I just want to be honest.”
• “I still care about what you taught me.”
• “Can we talk about this without arguing?”

Parents often react with fear at first. Give them time. Many come around to listening.

If you are being hit, threatened, or told you will be thrown out, tell a trusted adult like a school counselor, teacher or relative.

Reach out now

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Free, confidential, 24/7.
• Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741, 24/7.
• The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ young people): call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678, 24/7.
• If a life is in danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: call or text 1-800-422-4453. You can talk to someone about what is happening and what you can do.

Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) lists free, confidential helplines by phone, text or chat in many countries. If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.