Online high-control groups & rabbit holes

This might be a wellness, money, dating, self-help or spiritual personality. Followers may be urged to buy courses, join private groups and treat the leader’s word as truth.

Large studies of group abuse include personal growth, therapy and money-making groups, not just religious ones.

Psychologists have found that conspiracy beliefs appeal to needs to understand the world, feel safe and in control, and feel good about ourselves and our group.

The same review found that, for many people, these beliefs may be “more appealing than satisfying.” They promise relief but don’t usually deliver it.

Researchers at American University and the Southern Poverty Law Center describe extremist beliefs as seeing one group in dire conflict with others, which can only be solved by separation, domination or violence.

They note that not all strong or unusual views are extremist. The worry is when beliefs dehumanize people or call for harm.

The FBI has warned about violent online groups that target minors, especially those already struggling, and pressure them into self-harm or sexual acts.

See “Groups that target young people” below for more.

The PERIL guide names isolation and a lack of belonging as major drivers. Some people adopt group ideas mainly to stay close to friends or a partner.

Trauma, disruption and loss can make people more open to groups that promise clear answers. So can confusion during times of crisis.

When people feel something has been unfairly taken from them, groups that offer a simple story and a target can be very appealing.

Research suggests conspiracy beliefs grow from wanting to understand events and feel safe and in control.

The PERIL guide notes that boredom and curiosity can help these ideas spread, because exploring them feels rewarding.

Automatic recommendations can suggest more and more extreme material, which can open a path for people who are already at risk.

When people spend time only with like-minded others, research shows they tend to move toward more extreme positions.

Extreme ideas are often shared as dark jokes. The PERIL guide notes this kind of exposure can prepare some people to take the ideas more seriously later.

A 2023 study of YouTube viewing in 2020 found that most viewing of extremist channels came from people who subscribed or followed outside links. Recommendation-driven “rabbit holes” were rare in that period.

The researchers stressed this does not clear platforms of responsibility, and it doesn’t cover earlier years or other sites.

Social media, games and chat apps let people with harmful aims talk directly to young people. That direct contact can be a gateway into a group.

Splitting the world into the enlightened group and everyone else is a classic control pattern. It makes family and friends seem untrustworthy.

In controlling groups, doubt is framed as weakness or betrayal. Critics are mocked or banned rather than answered.

Controlling what information members trust is one of the four areas of control in the BITE Model.

Lifton called this “loading the language”: short phrases that end a conversation instead of opening one.

Fear and urgency keep people scrolling and stop them from slowing down to check claims. Emotional control through fear and guilt is part of the BITE Model.

Some online groups push members to buy courses or products, recruit others, or do things to prove they belong.

Threats such as doxxing (sharing someone’s private details) are a sign a group is willing to harm people to keep control.

• Leave group chats quietly if speaking up feels unsafe
• Move apps off your home screen
• Set times of day with no phone
• Turn off notifications from the space
• Unfollow or mute the main accounts

The FBI suggests private profiles, strong passwords and two-step sign-in, and searching for your own information online.

People leaving controlling groups often describe grief and a pull back toward the group, as well as freedom and relief. The guide “Healing after a high-control group” explains these feelings, including “floating.”

Think about what the group met for you, such as friendship, purpose or excitement, and look for healthier places to get it. The worksheet “What this space gives me” can help.

Life After Hate (lifeafterhate.org) is a nonprofit run by former extremists. It offers free, confidential support to people who want to leave hate-based groups and online spaces, and to their families.

Try not to punish or make fun of them. Instead, gently suggest that the people spreading these messages may have their own motives.

The PERIL guide suggests open questions, coming from curiosity rather than monitoring, such as “What values do you stand for?” or “What kind of person do you want to be?”

Teens especially may open up more when they aren’t the only focus of attention.

People who seem popular, successful or accepting online can be very different in reality. The PERIL guide notes exploitation within extremist spaces is common.

Former extremists often point to others’ kindness as a reason they left. Keeping a warm relationship gives them somewhere to come back to.

The guide “When someone you love is in a high-control group” has more on staying connected.

The CDC notes that feeling connected to others is linked with better mental and physical health. Small, regular contact counts.

Extremist groups thrive when people feel their lives are out of control. Finding everyday ways to act and help others can ease that feeling.

Teachers, coaches, faith leaders, relatives and friends can all be part of a young person’s safety net.

Talk about how propaganda works, such as scapegoating or offering simple answers to hard problems, and why some messages are designed to persuade.