Distractions & focus: helping kids get things done

Understood says being hungry can affect focus, and that children who haven’t slept enough are easily distracted and more likely to make mistakes.

A fall-out with a friend, excitement about a party, or a big change like moving house or a death in the family can all pull attention away, according to Understood.

Try asking

• “Is something on your mind today?”
• “Your brain seems busy. Want to tell me about it first?”
• “Shall we take five minutes, then try again?”

Everyday distractions, like siblings laughing, a TV on in the next room or friends texting, make it hard for anyone to focus.

Focus, planning and self-control depend on executive function skills. Children aren’t born with them, only with the potential to build them, and they keep developing into early adulthood.

Understood notes that ongoing trouble with focus is a key sign of ADHD. Learning differences can also make some tasks so hard that attention slides away.

Children aged 4 to 5 can usually concentrate for somewhere between 5 and 20 minutes, depending on the task, according to PBS KIDS for Parents.

What helps

• One activity at a time, put the rest away
• Short tasks with a clear end
• Games that build attention, like “I spy” or listening to a song together
• Praise for sticking with something

School-age children can focus for longer, but still need adults to set up the space, break tasks down and plan breaks.

What helps

• A set place and time for homework
• Checklists for multi-step jobs
• Short focus sprints with a timer
• Movement breaks between chunks

Teens face more homework, more activities and constant phone notifications. Their executive function skills are still maturing, so they still benefit from structure, even if they want less of it.

What helps

• Agreeing a phone plan for study time
• Planning the week together on Sunday
• Letting them choose their focus tools
• Gradually handing over planning

Understood suggests clearing clutter and having children sit away from windows when they work.

Keep within reach

• Charger (for school devices only)
• Paper and a ruler
• Pencils, sharpener and eraser
• Water and a small snack
• A timer

PBS KIDS for Parents suggests a quiet, set place for homework with screens and phones out of reach. For teens, apps that limit internet use during study time can help.

The AAP notes some children focus best in a quiet room, while others do better with some activity nearby, like the kitchen table. The CDC adds that some children with ADHD learn well with background music.

Understood suggests asking your child what helps. Some focus better standing, moving or with music.

Questions to try out

• Does my child work better with me nearby, or alone?
• Is the kitchen table too busy at this time of day?
• Does facing a wall help more than facing the room?
• Is the chair comfortable, or do they need to stand?

Understood notes that a list like “check your planner, get your books out and start your homework” can be too much to remember. Give one instruction at a time, or use a checklist with one step per line.

Say this

• “Get your maths book.”
• “Now find page 12.”
• “Do the first three questions, then show me.”

Checklists take the job of remembering away from your child, so their brain can focus on doing. The AAP suggests written lists for chores and daily tasks.

Checklist ideas

• Cleaning their room: clothes in basket, toys in box, books on shelf
• Getting ready for school
• Homework: planner, books, worksheet, pack bag
• Packing for sports practice

PBS KIDS for Parents suggests dividing big goals into smaller steps and doing one thing at a time, like one maths problem at a time.

Examples

• A book report: read one chapter a day
• Spelling: five words, a break, five more
• Tidying: one corner of the room at a time

For projects due in weeks, list the steps together and give each one its own mini-deadline on a calendar.

Understood mentions timer apps based on the Pomodoro Technique, which alternate short work periods with short breaks. A tomato-shaped kitchen timer works too.

Try a sprint

1. Choose one small task.
2. Set the timer, starting at about 10 minutes.
3. Work until it rings.
4. Take a short break: stretch, snack, move.
5. Repeat, and slowly lengthen the work time.

PBS KIDS for Parents suggests planning breaks to move or rest. Younger children might have a snack or play; teens might check messages.

Break ideas

• A drink and a snack
• Dance to one song
• Jump on the spot or do star jumps
• Step outside for a minute
• Stretch

Ideas

• “How many problems can you finish before the timer?”
• “Let’s guess how long this will take, then check.”
• Keep a chart of focus sprints completed
• Celebrate when sprints get longer

Try saying

• “Just write your name and the date. That’s it for now.”
• “Let’s read the first question together.”
• “Get your book out. I’ll set the timer.”

Instead of

• “Just get on with it!”
• “Why haven’t you started yet?”
• “It’s easy, stop making a fuss.”

CHADD describes a “body double” as someone who works at the same time, in the same room or by video, which may help some people with ADHD start and finish tasks. CHADD notes there isn’t much research on it yet.

Ideas

• Do your own paperwork at the table while they do homework
• A sibling reads quietly nearby
• A study call with a friend, cameras on (for teens)

The AAP suggests when/then statements, such as “When you finish your homework, then you can go out to play.”

The Child Mind Institute says building in choice, including the order of assignments, can motivate children and reduce power struggles.

Some children like to get the hardest thing out of the way; others need a quick, easy win first. Let your child try both and see which suits them.

Ideas

• A basket in the kitchen during homework
• Phone in another room, on charge
• Do not disturb or focus mode during study time
• Notifications off for games and social apps

Ideas

• Close everything except the assignment
• Keep the screen where you can see it
• Use a paper timer, not the device
• Write notes by hand when possible

For teens, PBS KIDS for Parents suggests parental monitoring or self-monitoring software to limit internet use during study time.

If you check your phone every few minutes, your child will notice. Putting yours away during homework time and meals shows what focus looks like.

Understood suggests agreeing a signal, such as a hand on the shoulder, touching your ear or a special word, to bring attention back. Share it with the teacher too.

Signal ideas

• A gentle tap on the desk
• A hand on the shoulder
• A silly code word
• A thumbs-up that means “back to it”

Understood suggests asking children to repeat back what you said, and checking they remember it. The AAP suggests the same for children with ADHD.

Understood says mindfulness exercises build attention skills, and even a few slow breaths before a task or test can help. PBS KIDS for Parents suggests slow belly breathing, which can ease the worry that leads to avoiding hard tasks.

Ideas from PBS KIDS for Parents

• Listening closely to a song together
• Noticing body sensations during simple yoga
• Playing “I spy”

More games

• Building a model or puzzle together
• Card matching games
• Simon says
• “What changed?” memory games

Try saying

• “You worked for the whole timer!”
• “I saw you get distracted and come back. That’s a real skill.”
• “You finished that before your break. Well done.”

The CDC recommends 10–13 hours of sleep (including naps) for ages 3–5, 9–12 hours for ages 6–12 and 8–10 hours for teens aged 13–17. Understood notes sleep-deprived kids are easily distracted.

Hunger can affect focus, according to Understood. The NHS suggests a healthy, balanced diet with regular mealtimes.

Ideas

• A snack before homework
• Water at the work spot
• Breakfast on school days
• Regular meal times

The CDC recommends 60 minutes or more of moderate-to-vigorous activity a day for children aged 6–17. Many children find it easier to settle after running around.

• Homework regularly takes far longer than the teacher expects
• Teachers raise the same concerns again and again
• Your child seems upset, anxious or down about schoolwork
• Focus problems show up at home, at school and with friends
• Nothing you’ve tried seems to help

The CDC says the first step is to talk with a healthcare provider, such as your child’s pediatrician, who can help work out what’s going on.

Ask the teacher what they notice and what helps in class. The CDC notes that IEPs and 504 plans can offer classroom supports, such as breaks or time to move around, for students who are eligible.

The National Resource Center on ADHD, a CHADD programme funded by the CDC, runs a helpline at 1-866-200-8098, Monday to Friday, 1–5 pm Eastern Time, with Spanish-speaking staff available.

The National Parent & Youth Helpline offers free emotional support to parents, caregivers and young people, 24/7, by call, text or chat at 1-855-427-2736.

Outside the U.S., Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) lists free, confidential helplines in more than 175 countries.