Chores for kids by age: building responsibility

In a study of nearly 10,000 U.S. children, doing chores more often in kindergarten was linked to feeling more capable socially and at school, and more satisfied with life, by third grade.

A 2022 study found that kids who did more self-care and family-care chores, like making a meal, had stronger working memory and self-control. It can’t prove chores caused this, but chores do practise planning, attention and switching tasks.

When chores are framed as “how our family looks after each other,” children learn they matter and are needed, not just looked after.

Laundry, cooking a simple meal and cleaning up are skills every young adult needs. The AAP’s age list builds up to cooking with supervision and doing laundry by ages 11 to 12.

Ideas

• Clearing their place at the table
• Folding towels
• Matching socks
• Putting away clean spoons and forks
• Putting toys and books away
• Sweeping with a small broom
• Wiping marks off walls or tables

Ideas

• Bringing in the mail
• Dusting
• Emptying wastebaskets
• Feeding pets
• Helping pack their school lunch
• Making their bed
• Setting and clearing the table
• Sorting laundry
• Watering plants

Ideas

• Helping cook dinner
• Making simple snacks
• Putting away groceries
• Putting away their own laundry
• Taking trash to the curb
• Vacuuming
• Walking the dog
• Washing dishes

Ideas

• Changing their sheets
• Cleaning the bathroom
• Cleaning the kitchen
• Cooking a simple meal with an adult nearby
• Doing and folding laundry
• Unloading the dishwasher
• Washing the car
• Watching younger siblings while an adult is home

Ideas

• Cleaning the tub or shower
• Ironing or caring for their clothes
• Making meals on their own
• Mowing the lawn
• Washing the car

Instead of

• “Clean your room.”

Try

• “Dirty clothes in the basket, books on the shelf, cars in the blue bin.”

The AAP suggests adding one new task at a time and spelling out what is daily and what is weekly.

Jumping in to redo a job tells kids their effort doesn’t count, the Children’s Wisconsin pediatrician notes. A lumpy bed made by a 6-year-old is a win.

The AAP suggests praising effort and initiative rather than the outcome. Encouraging kids while they work helps build momentum.

Try saying

• “You remembered to feed the cat without a reminder!”
• “You stuck with those dishes even though there were lots.”
• “Thanks for helping. It made dinner easier for all of us.”

List each chore, who does it and which day. Let kids check off their own jobs. Pictures work well for children who can’t read yet.

A “when/then” reminder cuts down on nagging, like “When the pets are fed, then we’ll have dinner.”

The AAP suggests family meetings to check on progress, ask for your child’s ideas and update chore agreements. Kids cooperate more with plans they helped shape.

A 10-minute family tidy with music, where everyone does a job at once, often feels less like a punishment than working alone.

If kids aren’t regularly expected to follow through, they may learn to put chores off, the Children’s Wisconsin pediatrician notes.

Many families keep basic jobs, like clearing your plate or tidying your room, unpaid, because everyone helps run the home.

Some families pay for extra jobs beyond the basics, like washing the car. This can be a gentle way to start learning about earning and saving.

A sticker chart can help a young child get going with a new job. For how to use rewards well, see “Consequences & rewards that actually work.”

If chores are refused, the AAP suggests calmly removing certain privileges rather than scolding. It notes screen time is a privilege, not a right.

Try saying

• “Screens come on once the dishwasher is unloaded.”
• “It’s your night for the trash. Want to do it now or after your show?”

A picture checklist turns “clean up” into small steps. Finishing each one gives a little win. See “Executive function struggles: planning, organising & starting tasks.”

Do the first minute side by side, then step back. Many kids, especially those with ADHD, find it much easier to start when someone is with them. See “ADHD in children & teens.”

A 5- or 10-minute timer makes a job feel finite. For more tools, see “Teaching kids about time: clocks, routines & being on time.”

The AAP suggests keeping expectations realistic, avoiding overload and thinking about your child’s temperament and organizational style.

Give all children the chance to learn every kind of job, from laundry to taking out the trash. It prepares each of them for life.

A weekly rotation for less popular jobs, like cleaning the bathroom, stops one child from feeling stuck with the worst ones.

The AAP notes that busy, overscheduled children still need household responsibilities. Smaller or weekend jobs can fit around a full schedule.

Children with disabilities or different needs can contribute too, with jobs adapted to their strengths. See “Every child is different: parenting siblings who need different things.”

The AAP suggests using differences in household rules as a chance to talk about your family’s values, rather than criticizing the other home.

Teens can make meals on their own. Try handing over one family dinner a week, from planning to cleaning up.

By the teen years, many young people can handle their own laundry and clothes care from start to finish.

The CDC notes that household tasks like mowing the lawn, walking the dog or washing the car also help keep teens physically active.

The CDC suggests talking with children about saving and spending money wisely. Teens can also practise booking their own appointments and keeping a calendar.

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