Grandparents raising grandchildren: money, legal help & support

Many states have a kinship navigator program. Navigators give information, education and referrals to services, and may link you with support groups, counseling and help with the child welfare and court systems.

You don’t need an agency involved to use one. Ask your state’s child welfare or aging agency, or dial 2-1-1, for the program near you.

The Grandfamilies & Kinship Support Network has GrandFacts fact sheets for every state and some territories and tribes. Each one lists local programs, public benefits, education help and legal relationship options. Spanish versions are available.

The National Family Caregiver Support Program serves older relatives (not parents) aged 55 and over raising children under 18. It can offer information, counseling, support groups, caregiver training, respite and limited extra help.

Find your local agency through the Eldercare Locator: 1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov.

Dial 2-1-1 or visit 211.org to find local services, including free or low-cost tax clinics. It is free and confidential.

If your grandchild lives with you, you have physical custody. Whoever has legal custody can enroll them in school, give permission for medical care and give other legal consents. Parents keep legal custody unless they give it up or a court gives it to someone else.

Many schools and health care providers have worked with grandfamilies before. Ask them first. They may know of a simple affidavit or other papers you can use to show you are raising the child.

When parents can’t be found, many states have school and health care consent or authorization forms that relatives can use without a parent’s signature. Your GrandFacts sheet or a legal aid office can tell you what your state offers.

Useful to keep

• Birth certificate and Social Security card, if you can get them
• Court papers, if there are any
• Health insurance card and shot records
• Notes from talks with the school or social services
• Who has permission to pick the child up from school

In informal kinship care, parents keep legal custody and can legally take the child back at any time. You may have trouble signing school or medical forms without extra papers.

Think about

• Flexible and keeps family decisions in the family
• Less security if the parent changes their mind
• You may still get some benefits for the child

Most states have power of attorney laws that let parents give relatives temporary decision-making power for their children. The parent usually has to agree and sign.

A court can give legal custody to a relative. With legal custody you can enroll the child in school and consent to medical care. In some cases, caseworkers help relatives ask the court for temporary custody when a child isn’t safe with a parent.

Types include temporary, limited, standby, permanent and probate court guardianship. These move rights such as medical decisions from parents to you through a court. This often needs an attorney to prepare papers for a judge.

Adoption makes you the child’s legal parent. Adoption assistance may be available to kin who adopt, but they can no longer get a TANF child-only grant.

Some families choose guardianship instead because they don’t want to change family relationships.

The Legal Services Corporation funds civil legal aid for low-income Americans. Its website lets you search by address to find the legal aid office for your area, and links to LawHelp.org for legal information and forms.

Grandfamilies.org has a Kinship Legal Toolkit with pages on care and custody, guardianship assistance and adoption, plus a search of state laws that affect grandfamilies.

If you hire a lawyer, look for someone with family law experience, ideally someone who has represented grandparents or other kin raising children.

If a child welfare agency placed the child with you, they should help with school enrollment, special education needs and transport.

Many children raised by kin can get Medicaid or the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP). In most cases only the child’s income counts. Every state lets kin caregivers apply for the child, and there’s no open enrollment period.

Most employer plans only cover children by birth or adoption. If you can’t add your grandchild, look at Medicaid, CHIP or the Affordable Care Act marketplace.

In most states, child-only grants count only the child’s needs and income, so nearly all children raised by a relative are eligible. You apply for TANF on the child’s behalf. It is usually less than foster care payments.

SNAP, once called food stamps, is available to households with incomes below a certain level.

A child may get survivor benefits if a parent has died, or dependent benefits if a parent is disabled or retired. A grandchild can sometimes get benefits on a grandparent’s record too.

On a grandparent’s record, the rules are strict. Usually both parents must have died or be disabled, and the child must have lived with you and had at least half their support from you. Ask Social Security to check your situation.

Supplemental Security Income (SSI) may be available to children or caregivers who are disabled.

If you’re worried about a young child’s development, Child Find programs offer free developmental evaluations for preschool-aged children.

Grandchildren can be qualifying children. The child must usually be under 19 (or under 24 and a full-time student) and live with you in the U.S. for more than half the year.

Social Security and pension income don’t count as earned income for the EITC. If you don’t earn enough to owe tax, it may still pay you a refund.

A grandchild can qualify if they are under 17 at the end of the tax year, live with you more than half the year, are claimed as your dependent and have a valid Social Security number. Older dependents may qualify for a smaller credit.

If you work or are looking for work, you may get a credit for day care or camp costs for a dependent child under 13.

Kin who adopt may get a tax credit for qualifying adoption costs, such as legal fees. There is no deduction for guardianship legal fees, but guardians can still claim the other credits if they qualify.

Even if a child qualifies for more than one person, only one taxpayer can claim them as a dependent. Keep clear records of where the child lives and who pays for their support.

• AARP Foundation Tax-Aide
• AmeriCorps Seniors RSVP volunteers
• Tax Counseling for the Elderly (TCE)
• Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA)
• Local free tax clinics (dial 2-1-1)

Licensed kin foster parents can receive a monthly foster care payment. Licensing also opens the door to programs such as the Title IV-E Guardianship Assistance Program.

In states that offer it, licensed relative foster parents who become permanent guardians may keep getting monthly help. Some states also run their own guardianship payment programs.

If a child welfare agency placed the child with you, they should enroll the child in Medicaid automatically.

Prepare a short description of your situation so you can quickly explain what help you need.

For example

• “I’m raising my two grandchildren, ages 6 and 9. Their mom can’t care for them right now. I need help getting them health coverage and finding a counselor.”

Write down the date, the person’s full name, title and phone number, what they said, and who will do what by when. Keep the notes together.

If you can, bring someone you trust. Plan your goals together beforehand and agree a signal so they can ask for a five-minute break if you get upset. They can take notes too.

If the person can’t answer your questions or doesn’t understand you, ask to speak to a colleague or supervisor. Briefly sum up your concern and make one clear request.

What to say

• “I’m doing my best, and I’d appreciate your support rather than judgment.”
• “This is the behaviour that’s hardest for us. Can you suggest three things I could try?”

Child welfare agencies may connect you with a local group of kin caregivers. Schools, caseworkers and health care providers may also know of groups or counseling programs.

Many states have family and parent peer support services that can match you with another kin caregiver or parent for emotional support and local referrals.

Respite programs care for children for short periods, on a schedule or when you need to be away. It may be limited where you live, so ask your Area Agency on Aging and your caseworker.

If money stress is keeping you up at night, you’re not alone. Money stress & your mind and Caregiver stress & burnout have tools that can help.

Call 1-800-677-1116 or visit eldercare.acl.gov. It is a free public service of the U.S. Administration for Community Living.

Dial 2-1-1 or visit 211.org. It is free and confidential.

Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, if you or the child you’re raising is in crisis or thinking about suicide.

Text HOME to 741741 in the U.S. It is free and confidential.

Find A Helpline lists free, confidential helplines around the world. Local social services or children’s services can tell you about money and legal help for relatives raising children where you live.