Executive function struggles: planning, organising & starting tasks

Working memory is like a small “workspace” in the mind. It holds the steps of a direction or a maths problem while your child works on it. When too much comes in at once, the workspace overflows.

Flexible thinking helps a child move from one activity to the next, or try a new way when the first one doesn’t work. Kids who struggle here may panic when rules or routines change.

Self-control (also called inhibitory control) helps a child stop, think and choose. It also helps them stay on a boring task instead of drifting off.

These skills cover setting goals and priorities, making and following plans, and keeping belongings in order.

Executive function supports starting tasks, staying focused and keeping an eye on how you are doing. Trouble starting is often the most visible struggle at home.

Managing time and regulating emotions are part of the same family of skills. A child who is flooded with frustration can’t plan well in that moment.

Young children are just starting to hold rules in mind and wait. Research shows 3- to 5-year-olds can wait by using their own strategies, like singing or moving, and do better when an adult is near.

What helps

• One direction at a time
• Picture charts for routines
• Pretend play with roles and rules
• Simple “first this, then that” language

Kids this age can learn checklists and simple routines, but they still need adults to set them up and prompt them. Younger kids often need outside motivators, like praise or small rewards, to see the value of a new strategy.

Middle school often brings longer projects and several teachers. Many schools hand out planners without teaching kids how to use them, so this is a key time to coach planning.

Teens can plan ahead, but the planning parts of the brain are still maturing. Older kids tend to respond better to check-ins and recognition of their effort than to sticker charts.

Getting started is especially hard when a task feels overwhelming, complicated or boring. Simple chores can feel huge.

Often losing or forgetting important items is a common sign. So is a room, desk or locker that never seems to stay tidy.

A child who completes only one or two of several instructions may be struggling with working memory, not being disobedient.

Starting multi-week assignments the night before they are due is a classic sign. The child may simply not see the steps or how long each one takes.

Taking a very long time to get dressed, being late because of poor planning, and trouble moving from one activity to the next are all common.

Finishing and turning in homework, organising writing and solving multi-step problems can all be hard for kids with executive function struggles.

Executive function struggles are most common in children with ADHD. Kids with ADHD often have to work actively at staying focused and organised, which other kids do more automatically.

Kids with learning disorders often have less working memory room to spare. Executive function challenges also show up in many people with learning challenges.

Kids without ADHD can struggle with executive function as well. Some children just need more time, more practice and more support to build these skills.

When the mind’s workspace is overloaded with new information, it is easy to lose track. Tiredness and stress make this worse for children and adults alike.

Instead of a blanket order, name one small job at a time: “Put the books on the shelf.” When that’s done, give the next one.

Example: clean your room

• Clothes in the basket
• Books on the shelf
• Toys in the bins
• Rubbish in the bin

Splitting a task into small chunks helps when someone is frozen. “Open the maths book and write your name” is easier to start than “Do your homework.”

“Body doubling” means working near someone you trust. You might fold laundry at the table while your child does homework. One Child Mind Institute psychologist says it works for almost everybody.

Working in short blocks, then taking a short break, makes starting feel manageable. Adults often use 25-minute blocks. Younger children usually need much shorter ones.

When someone is stuck, checking basic needs can help: a snack, water, a bit of movement or a change of scenery. A short snack and unpacking time before homework can help too.

Perfectionism and shame make getting stuck worse. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be started, then done.

Defining the steps clearly ahead of time makes a task less daunting. A visual checklist on a whiteboard lets your child tick off each step.

Good checklist spots

• Bedroom door (morning routine)
• Front door (school bag)
• Homework space (homework steps)

Most schools require planners but often don’t teach kids how to use them. Go through it together at first: what’s due, what’s next, what to bring home. Online homework pages can be a back-up.

Split larger projects into steps and guess how long each one will take. Kids often forget that some parts, like reading a book, take real time.

Clearing out clutter first makes tidying much easier. Easy-to-reach storage, like low bins, helps younger children put things away.

Pick practical systems over conventional ones. If open bins work better than folded drawers, use bins. What does work matters more than what should work.

Starting homework at the same time each day, in a quiet, well-stocked space, builds a habit. Consistent routines need less mental effort over time.

One instruction at a time works better than a string of them. Keep directions short and give the next one after the first is finished.

Planners, to-do lists and reminders take the load off memory. Kids often assume they’ll remember, so help them write it down straight away.

Visual and spoken cues, like sticky-note reminders or saying each step aloud, help routines stick. Teachers can help by giving directions both in writing and out loud.

Asking your child to repeat the direction in their own words shows what they heard. If a piece is missing, you can fill it in without blame.

The long-term benefits of computer-based memory training are unclear. Building and practising everyday coping strategies is the best current approach.

Younger kids need outside motivators to see the value of new strategies. A sticker for each step done, or a small reward at the end of a list, can help.

Older kids respond better to regular check-ins and recognition of their effort. Ask what system they want to try, so it feels like theirs.

Praise particular actions, and accept that progress takes time.

Try saying

• “You got started on your own. That’s the hardest part.”
• “You used your checklist this morning.”
• “You remembered your PE kit. Nice planning.”

• Behaviour therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
• Organisational coaching (focused on organising and time, not tutoring)
• School services, like support from a school psychologist or special education

If your child has ADHD or another condition, talk with your clinical provider about all the options.

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