Dating as a single parent

• Am I looking for a partner, or to fill a gap?
• Do I have time and childcare for this right now?
• Have I had time to heal from the last relationship?
• What are my deal-breakers?

If you’re still very angry, sad or raw about your last relationship, give yourself more time. Healing makes it easier to choose well.

The Breakups & heartbreak guide can help with that healing.

Some parents feel guilty for wanting a life outside parenting. A happy, connected parent is good for kids too.

The Dating & new relationships guide covers dating nerves, apps and how to look after your mood while dating.

• A babysitting swap with another parent
• Evenings when kids are with the other parent
• Lunch dates during the school day
• Phone or video chats after bedtime

The same study found many single parents were open to dating other single parents, which is much less common among singles without children. Another parent may understand last-minute cancellations.

If dating leaves you exhausted or neglecting rest, slow down. It’s okay to date less often, or take breaks.

• Meet first dates in public, and tell a friend where you’ll be
• Have your own way home
• Trust your gut if something feels off

The Dating & new relationships guide covers app safety and scams.

• Don’t share your kids’ names, school or photos early on
• Keep your home address private until you know someone well
• Think twice about kid photos on dating profiles

• Gives your child secret gifts or wants secrets kept
• Ignores your rules about your kids
• Pushes to meet your kids fast
• Wants to be alone with your kids early on

The CDC says child sexual abuse is preventable, and adults are responsible for keeping children’s relationships and environments safe.

• Introduce someone only once the relationship feels steady
• Keep dating separate from kids at first
• Keep your one-on-one time with your kids

The same source says younger children can first meet a new partner as “a friend of yours,” while older children should be told the truth.

• Keep it short, so it ends on a good note
• Let kids warm up at their own pace; don’t force closeness
• Start with a park or a meal, not a big event

Experts suggest keeping physical affection low-key, especially at first, because it can confuse or embarrass children.

Let your child know they can talk with you about their feelings, even hard ones. Experts also suggest paying attention to what your kids say about a partner.

Explain that you need adult time, and that you still have plenty of time for them. Keep up your special routines together.

If your child still hopes you’ll reunite with their other parent, gently explain that it won’t happen, so they don’t blame your new partner.

Forcing a bond, especially with teens, often backfires. At first, basic politeness may be the realistic goal. Your partner doesn’t need to win kids over with gifts.

It usually works best for you, the parent, to keep handling discipline at first while your partner builds a warm relationship with your kids. Agree on house rules together, and back each other up.

The Kids & family changes guide covers blended families in more depth.

If you co-parent, let the other parent know before a new partner becomes part of your kids’ lives. Children shouldn’t have to carry that news or keep it secret.

The Healthy co-parenting guide has tips for calm, business-like messages.

• Do my kids know and feel comfortable with this person?
• Have we talked about money, rules and space?
• Have I seen how they handle stress and conflict?
• Is this right for my kids, not just for me?