Reconnecting with Native roots

Some families moved to cities for work, school or through government relocation. Children may grow up proud of being Native but far from their nation’s land, ceremonies and language.

Before 1978, large numbers of Native children were removed from their families and placed with non-Native families. Many adults today are still finding their way back.

Many people have Native and non-Native ancestors. You may feel “not enough” in some spaces. Belonging grows through relationships, learning and showing up over time.

Boarding schools discouraged or prevented children from using their Native languages and cultural practices. In some families, language and culture may have gone quiet for a generation or more. If that happened in yours, the silence may have been a way of surviving.

A U.S. Department of the Interior investigation found that from 1819 to 1969, the federal Indian boarding school system included 408 schools across 37 states or then-territories. Children as young as 4 were separated from their families.

The schools worked to erase Native identity: renaming children with English names, cutting their hair, and discouraging or preventing the use of Native languages and cultural practices.

Before the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) was passed in 1978, state and private agencies were removing as many as 25 to 35% of Native children from their families. The National Indian Child Welfare Association reports that about 85% of those children were placed outside their families, even when relatives or Tribal members could care for them.

In October 2024, the President of the United States formally apologised for the boarding school system, which “sought to erase Native cultures and assimilate Native children.”

Hurt from these policies can pass between generations, through silence, loss and broken connections. So can strength, survival and love.

You may grieve the language you didn’t learn, relatives you never met, or ceremonies you missed. This grief is real, even for things you never knew.

Learning why your family was disconnected can bring anger. Anger at injustice is an understandable reaction. Talking, writing, moving your body or joining community action can help you carry it.

People who grew up away from their nation often worry they will be judged or rejected. Some do meet hurtful reactions. Many also find warm welcome from relatives and community members who understand.

Learning a word, hearing a song or meeting a relative can bring deep joy. Many people describe a feeling of coming home.

• Ask relatives what they remember, if it is safe to do so
• Collect family names, places, papers and photos
• Write down stories, even small ones
• Note any Tribe, band or village names you’ve heard

Once you know your Tribe, contact its enrollment or cultural office. The BIA Tribal Leaders Directory lists contact details for Tribal governments.

The BIA says DNA tests cannot show that you descend from a specific Tribe. Family records and Tribal enrollment offices are the usual path.

• Ask before joining ceremonies, and follow local protocols
• Go slowly. Belonging grows over time
• Learn from your own nation’s sources, people and language
• Visit an urban Indian center or Native community event near you

• Learning a few words a week from a relative or Elder
• Songs, prayers and stories in the language
• Speaking it at home, even a little, with children
• Tribal or community language classes, in person or online

Learning as an adult can stir up grief or embarrassment. Many fluent speakers are glad to help learners. Start small and celebrate each word.

The Cultural Wisdom Declaration, written with Tribes as part of the National Tribal Behavioral Health Agenda, honours ancestral knowledge, ceremonies and practices passed down orally across generations. Tribes commit to using stories, songs, prayers, rituals and ceremonies to promote wellbeing.

The declaration also says this wisdom is tribe-specific, that Tribes are the experts on their own traditions, and that sacred knowledge should stay private with knowledge keepers such as Elders and traditional healers.

• Caring for land and water
• Gathering, growing or preparing traditional foods
• Time on homelands or in places that matter to your people

• Community events, gatherings and shared meals
• Intergenerational time with Elders and youth
• Urban Indian centers and Native student groups
• Visiting relatives, when it is welcome

• Help find records, names and Tribal contacts
• Listen to their feelings without taking it personally
• Offer to come to events, if they want company
• Remind them they don’t have to choose between families

• Be patient with questions and mistakes
• Invite them to family and community events
• Share stories, names and words
• Remember that disconnection was not their fault

• Avoid casual use of sacred words, like “spirit animal”
• Don’t buy or join “Native” ceremonies offered by outsiders
• Learn from Native-led organizations and Native authors
• Remember that each nation is different
• Support Native-led organizations in your area