Black men’s mental health

Black men in the U.S. include African American, Caribbean, African, Afro-Latino and mixed-heritage men; men from cities, suburbs and the rural South; gay, bi, trans and straight men; and men of many faiths. What helps one man may not fit another.

Black boys are often seen as older than they are, and Black men are then expected to show little vulnerability. That can mean people miss sadness or fear, and see only anger.

Black men have shown deep strength: holding families together, building community, and pushing through barriers. Getting support does not cancel that. It helps you keep showing up.

In the same study, men over 30 who strongly held back their emotions showed a stronger link between discrimination and depressive symptoms.

Self-reliance was linked to fewer depressive symptoms in some age groups. The lesson is balance: keep the values that steady you, and drop the rule that you can never lean on anyone.

Signs people may notice

• Drinking or smoking more to switch off
• Feeling numb or “just tired”
• Pulling away from friends and family
• Short temper over small things
• Working nonstop so you don’t have to feel

In the Jackson Heart Study, a large study of African Americans in Mississippi, men with lower incomes who scored high on John Henryism had more high blood pressure. The support was modest and found only in men, so the full picture is still being studied.

Pushing harder has been a smart response to unfair systems. The problem is not your effort. It is having to work twice as hard with fewer resources, for years at a time.

Ideas

• Ask for help on one task you usually carry alone
• Get your blood pressure checked, and know your numbers
• Pick one evening a week with no work at all
• Swap one “I have to” for “I choose to” or “not today”

Anger at unfair treatment is a normal human response. When it shows up all the time, it can be a sign of deeper stress or depression that needs care.

Using something to get through the day can feel like it works, until it starts costing you sleep, money or relationships.

In a 2019 study of Black and Hispanic teens, seeing more online videos and posts of race-related violence was linked with more signs of depression and traumatic stress. Adults can feel this too, even when it didn’t happen to them directly.

Try this

1. Plant your feet and feel the ground.
2. Breathe in through your nose for 4 counts.
3. Breathe out slowly through your mouth for 6 counts.
4. Repeat five times.
5. Name one thing you can see, hear and touch.

Being the one everyone calls can bring pride and also exhaustion. It’s okay to set limits on what you can give.

Ways to protect yourself

• Agree a set amount you can give each month
• Ask others in the family to share costs
• Say “I can’t this time” without long explanations
• Talk with a free financial counselor if debt is piling up

Watching your tone so you aren’t seen as “aggressive”, and changing how you speak to fit in, can wear you down over time.

You are more than your job. Losing work is a reason to lean on people, not hide from them.

Among fathers living with young children, 70% of Black dads bathed, dressed or diapered them every day, more than White (60%) or Hispanic (45%) dads. 41% of Black dads helped with homework every day, more than other groups.

Black fathers who lived apart from their children were less likely than White or Hispanic fathers to go a whole month without talking with their kids about their day (21%, compared with 29% and 63%).

Many fathers carry fear for their children’s safety alongside pride and joy. That fear deserves somewhere to go too.

Try this

1. Pick a low-key moment, like a drive or a walk.
2. Say what you’ve noticed: “You’ve seemed off lately.”
3. Ask, “How are you, for real?” and give him time.
4. Listen. Don’t rush to fix or joke it away.
5. Offer one concrete thing: “Want me to come with you to see someone?”
6. Check in again next week.

Some fraternity chapters now end meetings with a wellness check-in. Men’s ministries, sports leagues and mentoring groups can do the same.

Sudden losses can pile up, and men are often expected to carry the casket and keep going. Your grief deserves space too.

Fear of being misunderstood is reasonable. It’s fine to ask a therapist about their experience with Black men before you start.

Questions you can ask

• “Have you worked with Black men before?”
• “How do you handle talk about racism?”
• “How is my information kept private?”
• “What would our first sessions look like?”

Listed by NAMI and the Maryland Department of Health

• BEAM (Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective): a Black Virtual Wellness Directory and healing circles
• Therapy for Black Men: a directory of therapists searchable by state and insurance

Many men find strength in faith. A pastor, imam or faith leader can be a good first person to talk to, and many support counseling too.