Farm families & succession: passing on the farm without breaking the family

For someone who has run the place for decades, stepping back can feel like losing their purpose. Some delay planning because it feels like planning their own ending.

Children who stayed and worked the farm and children who left can both feel overlooked. Often the hurt isn’t about the money but about feeling seen.

Waiting until a death or sudden illness forces the issue usually makes things harder. Families who talk early and often tend to have more choices and fewer surprises.

Common worries

• Being pushed aside before they’re ready
• Having enough to live on in retirement
• Paying for care if their health changes
• Seeing the farm sold or split up
• Treating every child fairly

Common worries

• Carrying debt to buy out siblings
• Not knowing when, or if, control will pass
• Pressure not to be the one who loses the farm
• Years of low pay with no clear plan

Common worries

• Being left out of decisions
• Losing a connection to the home place
• Feeling their share is less valued
• Not understanding why the farm “needs” so much

Spouses and partners often work on or for the farm, and their future depends on it, but they may not be included in family talks. Including them early can prevent resentment later.

Families with second marriages, stepchildren, or partners who aren’t married face extra questions about who inherits and how. Farm law resources include guides on transition planning for second marriages.

People cope better with an unequal split if they understand the reasons and had a chance to be heard. Surprises in a will are what tend to break families apart.

You might say

• “We want the farm to stay a working farm, and we also want each of you to feel cared for.”
• “Here’s what we’re thinking, and we’d like to hear how it lands for you.”

A child who worked the farm for years at low pay may feel that time earned them something. Siblings may not see it that way. Naming these contributions openly helps.

Some off-farm family members care most about still being welcome at the home place: holidays, hunting, a family plot. Asking what matters to each person may reveal easier solutions than expected.

“I” or “we” statements keep people from getting defensive. Blame-filled “you” statements tend to shut talks down.

Try

• “I’m worried about what happens if something happens to Dad.”
• “We need a plan so nobody is left guessing.”
• Instead of “You never let me make decisions”, try “I’d like to take on more of the decisions. Can we talk about how?”

Show respect, sum up what you heard, ask questions to understand, and don’t assume you know what others want.

You might say

• “So what I’m hearing is…”
• “Can you tell me more about that?”
• “What would a good outcome look like for you?”

Families can agree on the best ways to communicate and on reasonable reply times, and set regular check-ins before problems grow.

Write down agreements, including leases and big decisions, and after an important talk, send everyone a short summary of what was decided and who will do what.

Since the 2018 Farm Bill, heirs’ property operators can use other documents to set up a USDA farm number. A farm number opens access to farm loans, disaster help, risk management and conservation programs.

USDA provides loan funds to eligible lenders, who then lend to people working to resolve ownership and succession on farmland with many owners.

Staff from the Farm Service Agency, Natural Resources Conservation Service and Rural Development work out of local USDA Service Centers. USDA and the Land Trust Alliance also made an Heirs’ Property Toolkit.

USDA’s Certified Mediation Program funds state agricultural mediation. Family farm transitions are one of the issues it can cover. The mediator is neutral, has no power to decide for you, and talks are kept confidential.

Programs may charge a small fee. If your state has no program, contact your local FSA office.

The National Agricultural Law Center publishes free fact sheets on farm transition planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, leases and treating heirs equitably. They help you ask better questions when you meet a lawyer.

The Legal Services Corporation funds civil legal aid groups across the U.S. for people with low incomes. Its website has a tool to find your local legal aid office, and LawHelp.org has plain-language legal information.

• A farm financial advisor or lender
• A farm lawyer
• A family counselor, if emotions run high
• A tax professional
• Your county Extension office

The AgriStress Helpline (call or text 833-897-2474) is free, confidential and open 24/7 for people in agriculture.

The Farm Aid Hotline, 1-800-FARM-AID (1-800-327-6243), connects farmers with legal, financial and other resources on weekdays. It is not a crisis line.

A family or couples counselor can help when old hurts keep getting in the way. Many offer phone or video sessions, which helps when the nearest office is far away. Your family doctor can help you find one.

Call, text or chat 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or text HOME to 741741 for Crisis Text Line. Outside the U.S., find a helpline at findahelpline.com.