BIPOC kids, teens & families
Raising children who know they are loved, proud of where they come from and ready for the world.
By the numbers
What surveys and research tell us.
At school
Growing up
Research
Who this guide is for
What BIPOC means, and why every family is different.
BIPOC stands for Black, Indigenous and people of color. Mental Health America uses it for its resources on the mental health of these communities.
No word fits everyone. Many families prefer to name their own heritage, like “Black”, “Mexican American”, “Hmong”, “Diné” or “Somali”. Children may choose their own words as they grow, too.
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- AAPI: Asian American and Pacific Islander
- BIPOC: Black, Indigenous and people of color
- Black or African American: some people use one, some both
- Latino, Latina, Latine or Hispanic: people choose different words
- Multiracial or mixed: more than one racial heritage
- Native, Indigenous or a specific nation’s name: many prefer their own nation’s name
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A family who arrived last year and a family whose roots here go back centuries may share a label but have very different lives. Each child’s story is their own.
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Families of color have long passed down pride, faith, humour, language and ways of caring for one another. Research shows these strengths can protect children’s mental health.
Kids notice race early
Babies see differences, and young children pick up messages.
The American Academy of Pediatrics says a baby’s brain can notice race-based differences as early as 6 months. Between ages 2 and 4, children can start to take in racial bias.
By age 12, many children have set beliefs about race. That gives families about a decade to shape what their children learn.
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The American Psychological Association’s RESilience initiative explains that children learn about race from direct messages and from indirect ones, and that parents and family are the main source for young children.
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The AAP suggests answering preschoolers’ questions about skin colour in a positive way, for example that people are different in wonderful ways. Pointing out different skin tones within your own family can help.
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The AAP encourages parents to point out stereotypes and bias in books and media, such as villains who are coded by race, and to talk about them together.
Simple ideas
- Choose books with heroes who look like your child
- Include dolls and toys with many skin tones
- Watch shows together and ask, “What did you notice?”
Racial socialization: the messages kids learn
Pride, preparation and balance.
Researchers use the term racial or ethnic-racial socialization for the ways families pass on messages about race and culture. A well-known 2006 review described four main kinds of messages.
The APA’s RESilience initiative says these messages can help reduce the effects of racial stress and help children cope with racially charged experiences.
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Researchers call this cultural socialization: sharing your group’s history, heritage, customs and values with your child.
A 2020 review of 102 studies with over 27,000 young people found cultural socialization was linked with better self-image, better relationships and fewer behaviour problems.
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Preparation for bias means helping children understand that they may face unfair treatment, and how to cope with it.
Pair these talks with love and pride. The APA notes children do best with balanced messages, not only warnings.
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Researchers call messages about shared humanity and fairness for all egalitarianism. Many families teach this alongside pride in their own culture.
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Some messages warn children to distrust people from other groups, often out of a parent’s real experience and wish to protect.
In a 2020 review of 37 studies, most kinds of racial socialization were linked with better school outcomes. Messages of mistrust were the one exception.
Talking about race and racism at home
Ideas for little kids, school-age kids and teens.
The AAP encourages open conversations about race, diversity and racism so children see their parents as a trusted source. When a child makes a race-related comment, it suggests asking, “How do you feel about that?” or “Why do you think that?” before responding.
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- Answer questions about skin and hair in a warm, simple way
- Celebrate the people in your family and how they look
- Read stories with heroes who share their background
- Teach clear words: “That’s not fair” and “Tell a grown-up”
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- Ask open questions: “Has anything felt unfair at school?”
- Make a plan together for what to do and who to tell
- Point out stereotypes in books and shows
- Share stories of courage from your family or culture
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Teens are working out who they are. They may want to talk about identity, fairness, the news and what they see online.
- Ask what they think before sharing your view
- Be honest about your own experiences
- Respect that their views may differ from yours
- Talk side by side, like in the car or while cooking
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- Ask what they have heard or seen
- Keep graphic videos away from young children
- Remind them they are safe and loved
- Talk about the helpers and what people are doing to make things better
Pride, roots and identity
Feeling good about who you are can protect young people.
A 2014 review of 46 studies found that young people of color who felt positive about their racial or ethnic group tended to have fewer depressive symptoms, better self-esteem and better wellbeing.
The APA’s RESilience initiative says positive racial identities are protective and help build resilience.
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Ideas
- Ask grandparents to record a story or recipe
- Make a family tree together
- Visit a cultural center, museum or heritage site
- Watch films about your history and talk about them
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Knowing even a few words of a family language, a song or a dance can help a child feel connected to where they come from.
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Children may hear comments about their hair, skin or features at school or even within the family. Speaking warmly about their looks at home can help.
- Avoid comparing siblings’ skin tones
- Celebrate natural hair and traditional dress
- Share role models who look like them
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Young people may try on different ways of expressing who they are. Staying curious, not critical, keeps the door open.
At school
Unfair treatment, belonging, and how parents can advocate.
In a 2021 CDC survey, about one in three high school students said they had been treated badly or unfairly at school because of their race or ethnicity. Students who felt close to people at school reported racism less often.
The American Academy of Pediatrics describes racism as a social factor that affects the health of children, teens and their families.
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A 2017 Georgetown Law study found adults saw Black girls as needing less nurturing, protection and comfort than white girls of the same age, starting from age 5. Researchers call this adultification.
A 2014 study found Black boys from age 10 were more likely than white boys to be seen as older and less innocent than they were.
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Students who felt close to people at school reported less racism. The survey shows a link, not proof of cause, but connection clearly matters.
Ways to build it
- A trusted teacher, coach or counselor
- Clubs, sports, music or arts
- Cultural or affinity clubs
- Friends who share their interests
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- Listen to your child fully and thank them for telling you
- Write down what happened, with dates and names
- Ask for a meeting with the teacher, counselor or principal
- Say clearly what you want to happen next
- Follow up in writing and keep copies
Caring for parents and caregivers too
Your own stress matters, and so does your rest.
The APA notes that race-related stress can leave parents with less emotional space for their children. It can also lead to being very protective out of fear, or bring back memories of your own childhood.
The APA suggests caring for your own stress, building a support network and sharing your cultural identity with your children. Taking care of yourself also shows them healthy ways to cope.
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Many parents feel grief, worry or anger when they explain to their child that some people may treat them unfairly. Those feelings make sense.
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You can keep the strength and pride your family passed down while choosing new ways to handle stress and talk about feelings.
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- A short walk or stretch
- Limits on news and social media
- Prayer, meditation or quiet time
- Time with people who make you laugh
How community helps
Extended family, faith, mentors and groups for families.
Children do best with many caring adults around them. Grandparents, aunties and uncles, godparents, coaches, faith leaders and family friends can all help a child feel proud and protected.
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Many cultures share child-raising across generations. Elders can pass on stories, language and a sense of belonging that is hard to find anywhere else.
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Places of worship can offer belonging, mentors, youth groups and a steady sense of meaning through hard times.
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A mentor who shares a child’s background can show them that people like them belong in every field and place.
Places to look
- Community and cultural centers
- Faith youth groups
- School and college mentoring programs
- Sports teams and arts programs
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EmbraceRace is a nonprofit that supports parents, caregivers and educators of children from birth through middle school with guides, webinars and community.
The APA’s RESilience initiative shares free tips for parents on racial stress, identity and talking about race.
When and where to get help
Signs it’s time to reach out, and where to go.
Reach out to your child’s doctor, a school counselor or a therapist if your child…
- Has a recent drop in grades or is struggling at school
- Is sleeping much more or less than usual, or has frequent nightmares
- Loses interest in things they once enjoyed, or spends more time alone
- Often seems fearful, worried or irritable, or has frequent stomachaches or headaches
- Talks about hurting themselves or someone else (seek help right away)
It is okay to ask for a counselor or therapist who understands your family’s culture. Finding culturally responsive care explains how to look and what to ask.
988 is free and open 24/7 by call, text or chat. Crisis Text Line connects you with a trained volunteer by text, any time. The STEVE keyword, from the Steve Fund, reaches the same Crisis Text Line counselors.
📝 Worksheets for this guide
Fill these in privately in the app. Your answers stay on your phone.
Sources
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (2022). Perceived racism and demographic, mental health, and behavioral characteristics among high school students during the COVID-19 pandemic (MMWR Supplement 71(3))
- American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) (2024). Talking to children about racial bias (Anderson & Dougé)
- American Academy of Pediatrics (policy statement) (2019). The impact of racism on child and adolescent health (Trent, Dooley, Dougé et al., Pediatrics 144(2): e20191765)
- Mental Health America. BIPOC mental health
- American Psychological Association (APA). RESilience Initiative: racial and ethnic socialization resources for parents
- American Psychological Association (APA). Racial Stress and Self-Care: Parent Tip Tool (RESilience Initiative)
- Developmental Psychology (peer-reviewed) (2006). Parents’ ethnic-racial socialization practices: a review of research and directions for future study (Hughes et al., Developmental Psychology 42(5): 747–770)
- American Psychologist (peer-reviewed) (2020). Parental ethnic-racial socialization practices and children of color’s psychosocial and behavioral adjustment: a systematic review and meta-analysis (Wang et al., American Psychologist 75(1): 1–22)
- Child Development (peer-reviewed) (2020). Parental ethnic-racial socialization and children of color’s academic success: a meta-analytic review (Wang, Smith, Miller-Cotto & Huguley, Child Development 91(3))
- Child Development (peer-reviewed) (2014). Feeling good, happy, and proud: a meta-analysis of positive ethnic–racial affect and adjustment (Rivas-Drake et al., Child Development 85(1): 77–102)
- Georgetown Law Center on Poverty and Inequality (2017). Black girls viewed as less innocent than white girls, Georgetown Law research finds (Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls’ Childhood)
- Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (peer-reviewed) (2014). The essence of innocence: consequences of dehumanizing Black children (Goff et al., Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 106(4): 526–545)
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Children and mental health: Is this just a stage?
- EmbraceRace. About EmbraceRace
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). 988 Frequently Asked Questions
- Crisis Text Line. Crisis Text Line
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Crisis Text Line
- The Steve Fund. Crisis Text Line: text STEVE to 741741
- John S. and James L. Knight Foundation (2016). Crisis Text Line and the Steve Fund partner to expand services to young people of color
- ThroughLine. Find A Helpline
This guide is for education and self-care. It is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. Please talk to a counselor or clinical provider about your health. Reviewed October 2026.
