High-pressure students

Teens who plan to go to a four-year college were more likely than others to say they feel a lot of pressure to get good grades.

Girls were more likely than boys to say they worry a lot about getting into their school of choice (37% vs 26%).

A 2026 review of high-achieving schools describes direct competition between students, where peers can become competitors instead of people to lean on.

Lots of opportunities can turn into overloaded schedules, which the same review links with burnout.

Questions to ask

• Do I still enjoy this?
• Is anything here only for my résumé?
• When did I last have a free evening?
• What could I drop without real loss?

29% of teens said they feel tense or nervous about their day every day or almost every day. Girls were more likely to say this than boys (36% vs 23%).

Frequent, high-stakes testing that begins early in childhood is one of the stresses described in high-achieving schools.

When the adults around students lead very busy, unbalanced lives, students may feel they must live the same way.

Students may come to believe that only top results can justify what their parents have put into them.

Earlier research found that young people who felt their parents were critical, or valued success above good character, had more distress.

Research on resilience suggests it comes first from a strong relationship with a caring adult, inside or outside the family.

CDC notes that strong connections with adults and peers at home, at school and in the community can help teens.

What helps

• Break study into small, planned chunks
• Keep time for sleep, food and friends during exams
• Study with the thought “I can do well” instead of “I might fail”
• Talk to a teacher early if you are falling behind

Schools can help with test anxiety by teaching students how it works, teaching study and test-taking skills, and offering short-term counseling.

The same review notes that avoiding tests can keep the fear going, so support that helps you face tests step by step tends to work better.

Try this

• Give yourself a day to feel disappointed
• Look at what you can learn, not what it “means” about you
• Talk with the teacher about what to work on
• Remind yourself of things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with grades

Treating yourself kindly after a failure has been linked with more motivation to improve, not less.

In the APA survey, teens who slept less than eight hours on school nights rated their school-year stress at 6.5 out of 10, compared to 5.2 for teens who slept at least eight hours.

Teens also said stress made them feel tired (36%), kept them awake at night (35%) and made them feel overwhelmed (31%).

In 2025, 31% of 9th graders got at least 8 hours on school nights, compared with 20% of 11th and 12th graders. Boys were a little more likely than girls to get enough sleep (26% vs 22%).

Ideas

• Do one thing a week just for fun, with no goal
• Keep a regular bedtime, even in exam weeks
• Put your phone away for the last half hour before sleep
• Spend time with friends who don’t talk about grades

Teens rated their school-year stress at 5.8 out of 10, well above the 3.9 they thought was healthy. Balance helps close that gap.

Most adults change jobs many times over their working lives. The path you choose at 17 is a starting point, not a final answer.

What helps

• Focus on what you can control this week
• Remember there is more than one “right” school or path
• Talk with a school counselor about options

Sometimes the pressure comes from a plan that was made for you. It helps to notice which goals feel like yours.

Pressure often follows students to college, with new worries about money, workload and fitting in.

Things to notice

• Dropping hobbies or friends “to study”
• Getting very upset over small mistakes
• Sleeping much less, or much more
• Saying things like “I’m useless” after a bad grade

Many students hide stress because they don’t want to look like they can’t cope, or don’t want to let anyone down.

Common thoughts

• “Everyone else is managing.”
• “My parents have given up so much for me.”
• “It’s not bad enough to mention.”

Some high-achieving students feel they don’t deserve their place. Imposter feelings are common, with rates from 9% to 82% across 62 studies.

Parents often push because they want security and a good life for their children. Understanding this can soften anger, while still letting you say the pressure is heavy.

The 2022 research was based on students’ own views of their parents, and it shows links, not proof of cause. Every family is different.

Some people feel they carry not just their own hopes but their community’s. Being the first in the family to go to college, or one of few people like you in a field, can add extra pressure to never slip.

Cultural and religious messages can also play a part in self-doubt and imposter feelings.

Ideas for the talk

• Pick a calm time, not right after a result
• Start with thanks: “I know how much you’ve given for me.”
• Share feelings, not blame: “I feel scared of letting you down.”
• Say what would help: “It helps when you ask how I’m doing, not just my grades.”

Ideas

• Ask “How are you?” more often than “How did you do?”
• Make it clear your love doesn’t depend on grades or trophies
• Praise effort, curiosity and kindness, not just results
• Share your own mistakes and what you learned

Research has linked young people’s distress with feeling that parents are critical, or that parents value success above good character.

Try

• Talk about kindness and honesty at dinner, not just grades
• Celebrate a good effort that didn’t “win”
• Notice when your worry turns into criticism

Signs to watch for

• Hiding grades or mistakes
• Losing interest in friends or hobbies
• Seeming exhausted most of the time
• Talking about themselves very harshly

A study found that when mothers felt cared for themselves, their parenting improved.

Your own rest, friendships and balance also show your child what a good life can look like.

You could say

• “I can’t switch off from worrying about grades.”
• “I need help making a plan.”
• “I’m feeling really overwhelmed with school.”

Schools can teach students about stress and test anxiety, teach study skills, and offer short-term counseling.

CDC suggests schools build connection with peers and teachers, which can help students’ mental health.

Ideas

• Celebrate effort and kindness in your group, not just top results
• Join a club or team just for fun
• Share a setback or doubt with a friend
• Start a study group that is about support, not competition