College & university life

Homesickness is a kind of grief for the familiar: your people, your bed, your food, your routines. It can show up as sadness, worry, trouble sleeping, stomach aches or wanting to go home every weekend. It often peaks in the first weeks and around holidays, and it usually eases as new places start to feel like yours.

What helps

• Bring a few comforts from home: a blanket, photos, a favorite snack
• Plan calls with family at set times, so you have something to look forward to without being on the phone all day
• Build small routines: the same coffee spot, a walk at sunset, a weekly meal with a friend
• Explore your campus and town, so it stops feeling like a stranger’s place
• Say yes to a few invitations, even when you’d rather stay in

Friendships usually grow from seeing the same people again and again in a relaxed setting: a class, a club, a dorm floor, a job. The first people you meet may not become your closest friends, and that’s fine. Many students find their people in their second semester or second year.

Easy ways to start

• Keep your door open when you’re in your room (if you feel safe doing so)
• Sit near the same people in class and suggest studying together
• Join one or two groups that meet every week
• Invite someone to grab food. Most people are hoping someone will ask.
• Follow up: a second hangout matters more than a perfect first one

In high school, much of your day was planned for you. In college you may have only a few hours of class and a lot of “free” time that quickly disappears. Without a rhythm, sleep slides, meals get skipped and work piles up, and all of that affects mood.

Build a simple week

• Put classes, study blocks, meals and sleep into a calendar
• Treat study time like a class you can’t skip
• Aim for a regular wake-up time, even on weekends
• Plan one thing each week that is just for fun or rest
• Review your week every Sunday: what worked, what didn’t?

Away from home, many students start asking big questions about faith, values, sexuality, culture or what they want to study. This can feel freeing and also unsettling, especially if your answers differ from your family’s.

Gentle ways to explore

• Take a class just because it sounds interesting
• Visit cultural, faith or identity-based student groups
• Talk with people whose lives are different from yours
• Give yourself permission to change your mind

Campus counseling centers usually offer short-term one-on-one counseling, group sessions, workshops, and help in a crisis. If you need longer-term or specialist care, they can often refer you to someone off campus. Many have same-day or drop-in times for urgent worries.

What they can help with

• Stress, worry, low mood and loneliness
• Homesickness and adjustment
• Relationship problems and breakups
• Grief, trauma and family issues
• Identity questions
• Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

Good to know

• What you say is generally kept confidential, with some safety exceptions. Ask them to explain at your first visit.
• There may be a wait at busy times, like midterms. Book early.
• Groups can be just as helpful as one-on-one, and you meet people facing the same things.
• Many centers also offer telehealth or a 24/7 phone line

Student health centers handle everyday illness, injuries, sexual health and check-ups. Because the body and mind are connected, they can also check for physical causes of tiredness, poor sleep or low mood. For anything medical, consult with your clinical provider there.

Tips

• Find out what your student health fee or insurance covers
• Bring your insurance card and a list of any health conditions
• Ask whether health and counseling services share records, and how your privacy is protected

Academic struggles and mental health often feed each other. Getting help with your studies can ease a lot of stress. These services are paid for by your tuition, so using them is smart, not a sign that you’re behind.

Where to go

• Office hours: time professors set aside to answer questions
• Tutoring and learning centers: help with tricky subjects and study skills
• Writing center: help planning and editing papers
• Academic advisor: help with schedules, majors, and options if you fall behind

Resident advisors (RAs) live in student housing and are trained to help with roommate issues, homesickness and emergencies. The dean of students office can help when life gets in the way of school, such as illness, a family emergency, or a crisis. They can often contact your professors for you.

Ask them about

• Short-term academic help during a crisis
• Emergency funds, food pantries or housing help
• Taking a medical or personal leave, and how to return
• Who to talk to about a safety concern

Peer groups can make it feel normal to talk about how you’re doing. Active Minds is one youth-led mental health movement, with more than 500 chapters at high schools and colleges. Its chapters run events and conversations that help students support each other and seek help.

Many colleges also work with The Jed Foundation (JED). More than 500 colleges, representing more than 6 million students, take part in its JED Campus program to strengthen their mental health, substance misuse and suicide prevention efforts.

In high school, the school is responsible for finding students who need support and making a plan. In college, it usually works the other way around: you need to contact the disability services office yourself and ask for accommodations. A high school plan is helpful to share, but colleges often ask for their own paperwork.

What this means for you

• Contact the office before classes start, or as soon as you can
• Ask what documents they need from a health professional
• Expect a conversation about how your condition affects your studies
• Many schools send letters to your professors, or ask you to share them

Accommodations are decided case by case. The goal is equal access: you still learn the same material and meet the same standards, but in a way that works with your health.

Common examples

• Extra time on tests, or a quiet testing room
• Flexibility with attendance or deadlines during flare-ups
• Note-taking support or recorded lectures
• A reduced course load
• Housing adjustments, such as a single room
• Breaks during long exams or classes

Some students worry that registering with disability services will follow them or make others see them differently. Disability records are usually kept separate from your academic record. Using accommodations is not cheating. It’s leveling the playing field.

If something goes wrong

• If a professor doesn’t follow your accommodations, tell disability services
• Keep copies of emails and letters
• Ask about your college’s complaint or appeals process

First-generation students often figure out college “rules” on their own: financial aid, office hours, internships, even what a syllabus is. In one study, first-generation and underrepresented students reported a lower sense of belonging than their peers. Belonging mattered most for them: when it grew, depression symptoms tended to drop.

What helps

• Look for a first-generation student program or office
• Ask questions. There is no such thing as a silly one.
• Find a mentor: a professor, advisor or older student
• Talk with your family about what college life is like, so they can understand
• Be proud. You’re opening a door for others.

International students face everything other students do, plus culture shock, language barriers, visa rules, time zones and sometimes money pressures. In some cultures, talking about mental health isn’t common, which can make it hard to ask for help.

What helps

• Connect with your international student office early
• Join cultural or language groups, and mixed groups too
• Ask the counseling center whether they have counselors who speak your language or understand your culture
• Keep some traditions from home: food, holidays, music
• Schedule calls home at times that work for both time zones

After years of semesters, grades and breaks, the open road after college can feel empty or scary. You might move back home, wait for a job, or feel like friends are moving on faster. This is a normal stage of change.

What helps

• Keep a simple daily routine
• Stay in touch with college friends, and plan visits
• Find new community: classes, volunteering, faith or interest groups
• Remind yourself that most people take time to find their footing

Work is different from school. There may be no syllabus, less feedback and long days. It’s normal to feel unsure at first. Asking questions and finding a mentor help a lot.

Tips for starting out

• Ask questions early. Nobody expects you to know everything.
• Find someone you can learn from
• Protect evenings and weekends where you can
• Learn your rights about pay, breaks and accommodations

Many people change careers several times. If your degree doesn’t lead where you expected, or your first job isn’t right, that’s information, not failure.

Ways to explore

• Notice what tasks give you energy
• Talk to people in jobs that interest you
• Try small experiments: a class, a side project, volunteering
• Use your college’s career center. Many help alumni too.

You might notice a friend skipping classes, sleeping a lot or barely at all, drinking more, pulling away, seeming irritable or flat, or joking about not wanting to be here. Trust your gut if something seems off.

Things to watch for

• Big changes in mood, sleep or eating
• Missing classes, practices or meetings
• Giving away belongings or saying goodbye
• Talking about being a burden or feeling trapped

Pick a private moment. Say what you’ve noticed, without judging, and then listen more than you talk. JED, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the Ad Council created the Seize the Awkward campaign to encourage young people to start these conversations, even when they feel awkward.

Try saying

• “I’ve noticed you seem down lately. How are you really doing?”
• “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
• “That sounds really hard.”
• “Would it help if I came with you to the counseling center?”
• “Are you thinking about suicide?” (Asking directly does not put the idea in someone’s head.)

When we’re worried, we sometimes rush to fix, cheer up or compare. These responses can make a friend feel unheard.

Try to avoid

• “Just think positive.”
• “Everyone’s stressed. You’ll be fine.”
• “You have nothing to be sad about.”
• “I know exactly how you feel.”
• Promising to keep a secret if their safety is at risk

When someone is struggling, everyday tasks can feel huge. Offering specific help is often easier for them to accept than “let me know if you need anything”.

Ideas

• Walk with them to the counseling center or sit with them while they call
• Bring food, or invite them to eat with you
• Study together, or help them email a professor
• Invite them to low-pressure things, like a walk or a movie
• Keep checking in over days and weeks

Supporting a friend can be draining, especially if you’re also juggling classes. It’s OK to set limits and to share the load with others. You are a friend, not a therapist.

Look after yourself

• Keep up your own sleep, classes and fun
• Bring in other friends or trusted adults
• Talk to the counseling center about how you’re feeling
• Remember that you are not responsible for another person’s choices

The campus counseling center, student health center, your RA and the dean of students office can all help you find the right support. Many counseling centers have drop-in hours or an after-hours phone line.

Good places to start

• Academic advisor, if school is the main stress
• Counseling center (often free or low-cost)
• Dean of students office, for help when life gets in the way of school
• Resident advisor (RA), if you live on campus
• Student health center

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline connects you with a trained crisis counselor. You can call or text 988, or chat online at 988lifeline.org, any time of day or night.

If texting feels easier, text HOME to 741741 to reach Crisis Text Line, free and 24/7 from anywhere in the U.S.

Crisis numbers are different in every country. Find A Helpline lists free, confidential helplines around the world, searchable by country and topic.

Also try

• Your university’s student support or wellbeing service
• Your local emergency number
• The international or study-abroad office at your school