Veterans: everyday coping

When the body’s alarm goes off, it is hard to think clearly or learn something new. Practicing a skill for a few minutes on an ordinary day makes it more automatic when you need it.

Relaxation can sometimes feel uncomfortable at first. VA suggests sticking with it in small amounts that you can handle.

A simple daily practice

• Pick one skill from this guide
• Set a phone reminder at the same time each day
• Practice for 2 to 5 minutes
• Notice how your body feels before and after

Regular sleep times, planned tasks and activities you enjoy all help. VA suggests planning a realistic number of tasks each day and keeping up activities you enjoy or used to enjoy.

Anchor points for your day

• A meal at about the same time
• Some movement, even a short walk
• One task you can finish
• One thing just for you
• The same wind-down routine at night

Isolating can make things harder. VA encourages talking to people you trust and reaching out to a doctor or counselor if symptoms don’t start to ease, or get worse over time.

Grounding pulls your attention away from the memory and back to what is around you right now. It is especially useful during flashbacks, panic or when you feel “far away”. The idea is to use your senses as an anchor.

Drill 1: the 5-4-3-2-1 check

1. Name 5 things you can see.
2. Name 4 things you can touch, and touch them.
3. Name 3 things you can hear.
4. Name 2 things you can smell.
5. Name 1 thing you can taste, or one good thing about right now.

Drill 2: body anchor

1. Press your feet flat into the floor and notice the pressure.
2. Grip the arms of your chair, or press your palms together.
3. Notice the temperature of the air on your skin.
4. Say where you are, the date and the time out loud.

Drill 3: mind anchor

1. Pick a category: trucks, sports teams, states, cities.
2. Name as many as you can, A to Z.
3. Or count backward from 100 by 7s.
4. Keep going until your breathing slows.

During a flashback

• Keep your eyes open. Look around and notice where you are.
• Remind yourself where you are, the year, and that you are safe.
• Get up and move, have a drink of water, or wash your hands.
• Call someone you trust.
• Tell your counselor or doctor about it later.

When you are stressed, breathing gets fast and shallow, which keeps the alarm going. Slowing your breathing, especially the out-breath, helps your body switch from “on alert” to “at rest”. Prolonged Exposure therapy teaches a breathing skill early for exactly this reason.

Try it

1. Sit or stand comfortably. Drop your shoulders.
2. Breathe in gently through your nose for about 4 counts.
3. Breathe out slowly through your mouth for about 6 counts.
4. As you breathe out, say a calm word in your head, like “calm” or “easy”.
5. Repeat for 2 to 5 minutes.

Muscle relaxation exercises are on VA’s list of ways to relax after trauma. When your body has been braced for a long time, tensing and releasing muscles on purpose helps you feel the difference between “on guard” and “at ease”.

Try it

1. Sit or lie down somewhere comfortable.
2. Make tight fists for about 5 seconds, then let go and notice the release.
3. Do the same with your shoulders, jaw, stomach, legs and feet.
4. Breathe out slowly each time you let go.
5. Finish with a few slow breaths.

Triggers are reminders of the trauma: sounds, smells, places, dates, crowds or even a tone of voice. They can set off strong reactions before you even know why. Knowing your triggers takes away some of their surprise and power.

Build your trigger plan

1. Write down what happened before you felt upset (where, who, what you saw or heard).
2. Notice the early warning signs in your body, like a tight chest or clenched jaw.
3. Pick one or two grounding or breathing skills to use.
4. Decide who you can call or text.
5. Afterward, be kind to yourself and rest.

Avoiding every trigger can make life smaller and keep PTSD going. With a therapist’s help, many people slowly face safe reminders step by step, which helps the brain learn they are not dangerous.

A racing heart and short breath can feel alarming. VA points out these reactions are not dangerous, and they probably would not worry you if they happened during exercise. The feelings will pass.

What helps

• Slow your breathing down
• Notice the scary thoughts that come with panic. They are often not true.
• Remind yourself: “This is my alarm. It will pass.”
• Keep practicing. With repetition, panic tends to come less often and is easier to handle.

Poor sleep and a body on alert make it hard to concentrate. You may forget things or struggle to finish tasks. This is a common stress reaction, not a sign that you are failing.

What helps

• Break tasks into small steps.
• Plan a realistic number of tasks for each day.
• Slow down and do one thing at a time.
• Write lists and use phone reminders.

Many people drink or use drugs to relax, feel easier around others or push away memories. But alcohol makes sleep less restful, and drug use can raise irritability and avoidance. Over 4 in 10 adults with PTSD also have problems with alcohol or drugs.

Healthier swaps

• A walk or workout instead of a drink to unwind
• Calling a buddy instead of shutting the door
• A time-out instead of staying angry
• A calm, enjoyable activity before bed

If drinking or drug use has become a problem, treating it at the same time as PTSD works. Mutual support groups can help too. Ask your provider about options.

Try this

• Go to bed and get up at about the same time every day.
• Limit caffeine, especially later in the day.
• Avoid alcohol and tobacco, which harm your sleep.
• Avoid heavy exercise in the hours before bed.
• Keep your bed for sleep (and sex), not phones or TV.
• Make your bedroom comfortable: dark, quiet, a good temperature.

A body on alert needs time to come down. A short, repeated routine before bed tells your brain that it is safe to rest. Gentle relaxation, quiet music and stretching are all on VA’s list of ways to relax.

A simple wind-down

1. Do your one agreed security check, once.
2. Dim the lights and put screens away.
3. Take a warm shower or do light stretching.
4. Listen to quiet music or read something easy.
5. A few minutes of slow breathing in bed.

Lying in bed thinking or worrying can teach your brain that bed is a place for stress. VA suggests getting up and doing something soothing or pleasant, then trying again.

Ideas

• Sit somewhere dim and comfortable
• Read something calm, or listen to an audiobook
• Do a grounding drill or slow breathing
• Go back to bed when you feel sleepy

Try this

• Remind yourself: “That was a dream. I’m safe.”
• Turn on a light and look around the room.
• Get up, regroup, and orient yourself to the here and now.
• Do something pleasant and calming.
• Talk to someone you trust about it, if you can.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) is the recommended treatment for long-lasting sleep problems. It usually takes about six sessions, helps about 7 in 10 people who complete it, and can be done in person, by video or online. It can also reduce nightmares.

There are also talk therapies aimed at nightmares themselves, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Nightmares. Researchers say these approaches look promising, and can also improve sleep, PTSD and mood.

After trauma, high tension and alertness can become your normal state, so anger feels stronger and comes faster. Learning to relax, and exercising to release tension, lowers the starting point.

Try

• Daily exercise to burn off tension
• Muscle relaxation or slow breathing, twice a day
• Less caffeine and alcohol, which can make you edgier

Anger can show up as acting before you think. VA’s anger skills include taking a time-out, writing down your angry thoughts, and talking with someone instead of acting it out.

Set it up ahead of time

• Agree on a time-out signal with the people you live with
• Pick a place to go: the yard, a walk around the block, the garage
• Keep a notebook or notes app for angry thoughts
• Promise to come back at an agreed time

Trauma can leave beliefs like “You can’t trust anyone.” Anger skills include noticing the thoughts that come before anger and swapping them for more balanced ones.

Questions to ask yourself

• Is there real danger here right now?
• What else might be going on for this person?
• Will this matter tomorrow? Next week?
• What would I tell a buddy in my shoes?

Staying angry doesn’t work. If you blow up at someone you care about, VA suggests finding time as soon as you can to talk with them about it.

Things you might say

• “I’m sorry I raised my voice. It wasn’t about you.”
• “My alarm went off. I’m working on it.”
• “Can we try that conversation again?”

Anger-management programs, often based on cognitive-behavioral therapy, teach you to relax your body, notice the thoughts that come before anger and choose new responses, sometimes with role-play practice. Ask your provider or a Vet Center about them.

Loved ones who don’t understand symptoms can get frustrated, which leads to conflict. A calm explanation on a good day goes a long way.

Things you might say

• “My brain was trained to watch for danger. It hasn’t switched off yet.”
• “When I check the locks twice, it isn’t because I think you’re careless.”
• “Sitting facing the door helps me relax. Can we make that easy?”
• “If I snap about safety, it’s my alarm going off. I’m working on it.”

VA suggests families agree in advance on what to do when symptoms flare. An agreement can cover the small, daily things too.

Ideas

• A code word that means “I need a break”, with a promise to come back
• A heads-up before loud surprises, guests or changes of plan
• A seat facing the door when you eat out
• No mocking or teasing about alertness, and no lectures about safety either
• One agreed lock-up check at night, done once, not over and over

Grounding, slow breathing and mindfulness can calm the stress response in the moment. Cutting back on caffeine and alcohol helps too, since both can make anxiety worse.

Try

• Breathe out slowly, longer than you breathe in
• Daily exercise to burn off tension
• Practice in easy places first, like a quiet café at an off-peak time
• When you notice yourself scanning, name 3 things that tell you you’re safe right now

Crowds, noise and not knowing what’s behind you can make simple errands exhausting. Planning gives your brain some control back, so it doesn’t have to stay on full alert.

Ideas

• Go at quieter times, like early morning
• Have a list so the trip is short and focused
• Bring a buddy or family member
• Know where the exits are, then let yourself stop scanning
• Plan a calm activity for afterward

If being on guard is wearing you out, keeping you from places you need to go, or causing regular fights at home, it is worth raising with your provider. Trauma-focused therapy can help your brain learn that you are safe now.

Ideas to try

• A daily walk, ruck or run
• Gardening or yard work
• Stretching or yoga before bed (not hard exercise)
• Swimming, cycling or lifting with a buddy

Spending time in nature is one of the ways VA lists to relax. Hiking, fishing, camping or simply sitting outside can give your mind a break from scanning and remembering.

Veterans and Gold Star families can get a free lifetime pass to national parks and other federal recreation lands. You need an accepted ID, such as a VA health ID card, a Veteran ID card or a veteran designation on your driver’s license. A DD-214 is not accepted as ID for the pass.

VA Adaptive Sports & Arts runs national events and a grant program. The National Veterans Summer Sports Clinic introduces adaptive sports like surfing, sailing, kayaking and cycling to veterans with conditions including PTSD, traumatic brain injury and limb loss.

Other VA events

• National Disabled Veterans Winter Sports Clinic (skiing and snowboarding)
• National Veterans Golden Age Games (for veterans 55 and older)
• National Veterans Wheelchair Games

VA also gives adaptive sports grants to community organizations, which reach more than 13,000 veterans and service members.

Doing it with others adds connection. Team Red, White & Blue brings veterans and supporters together through local events, fitness challenges and outdoor adventures. Wounded Warrior Project’s Project Odyssey uses adventure-based learning in a 12-week mental health workshop.

Gentle practices combine movement, breathing and attention. Yoga, tai chi and mindful meditation are among the group activities many Vet Centers or their community partners offer.

Working with your hands can quiet racing thoughts. Some people draw their feelings as shapes and colors. Others prefer woodworking, model building or photography.

Try this

• Color or doodle for 10 minutes when you feel tense
• Draw your feelings as weather: storm, fog, sunshine
• Take one photo a day of something that made you pause

Music can shift your mood fast. Calm music can help you wind down, and rhythm can help you slow your breathing. Music therapy, led by trained music therapists, is part of Creative Forces.

Try this

• Learn a simple instrument with free online lessons
• Make a “wind down” playlist for bedtime
• Tap or drum a slow, steady beat while you breathe out

Writing helps turn a jumble of thoughts into something you can see and make sense of. It can be private. No one ever has to read it.

Prompts

• A letter to a buddy, or to my younger self
• Something I miss about service, and something I don’t
• Three things that went OK today
• Today I felt… because…

Many Vet Centers or their partners offer group activities like painting, photography, music groups and creative writing classes. They are a low-pressure way to meet other veterans.

The National Veterans Creative Arts Festival showcases veterans’ art, music, dance, drama and creative writing. It grows out of creative arts competitions held at VA facilities across the country.

A service dog is trained to do specific tasks that a person cannot do because of a disability. Protecting someone, giving emotional support or being a companion do not on their own make a dog a service animal.

Service dogs are generally allowed in most public places, though they can be asked to leave if they are not behaving well.

An emotional support dog does not need special training. Usually a letter from a mental health provider is what qualifies a pet. In most states, emotional support dogs don’t have special permission to go to all public places, but a letter may help with things like housing.

VA’s National Center for PTSD says VA does not provide service dogs for physical or mental health conditions, including PTSD. VA does provide veterinary care for service dogs that are medically necessary for veterans with certain permanent physical impairments.

VA is also running a pilot program called PAWS at a handful of sites, where veterans with PTSD help train service dogs for other veterans. Participants do not get a dog, and they commit to weekly training for 8 weeks. Ask your VA provider for a referral if you live near a pilot site.

There is not yet enough research to know whether dogs help treat PTSD symptoms. Dogs are not a replacement for proven PTSD treatment, and becoming dependent on a dog can get in the way of recovery.

Peer groups are usually led by someone who has been through trauma too. You can take part at your own pace, and just listening is fine. Groups help people feel connected, though they are not a replacement for PTSD treatment.

Where to find one

• Ask a Vet Center about local groups: 1-877-927-8387
• Ask your local VA about Peer Support Services
• Try a free virtual peer group, such as those run by Give an Hour

The Vet Center Call Center (1-877-927-8387) is open 24/7. You can talk with another combat veteran about anything on your mind, and they can connect you to your nearest Vet Center.

What helps

• Stay calm and speak in a slow, steady voice
• Say their name, where they are and the date
• Give space. Ask before touching.
• Invite them to breathe out slowly with you
• Afterward, let them rest. Talk about it later, if they want to.

Veteran groups, faith communities, sports clubs and volunteer teams all give people a place to belong. Many Vet Centers also host community activities like potluck dinners, outdoor activities and community service projects.

A safety plan includes

1. My warning signs (thoughts, feelings, situations)
2. Things I can do on my own to calm down
3. People and places that help take my mind off things
4. People I can ask for help
5. Professionals and crisis lines I can call
6. How I will make my space safer

Putting time and distance between yourself and anything you could use to hurt yourself can save a life. In 2024, firearms were involved in 74.3% of veteran suicide deaths, so secure storage matters.

Storage options

• A cable gun lock
• A gun safe
• A lockbox
• Asking someone you trust to hold onto firearms for a while

• Drinking or using drugs more
• Feeling hopeless, or like there is no reason to live
• Giving away prized possessions or tying up loose ends
• Rage, agitation or trouble sleeping
• Talking about death, dying or suicide
• Withdrawing from family and friends

• In a mental health emergency, you can walk into any VA medical center, day or night, whatever your discharge status
• Vet Center Call Center, 24/7: 1-877-927-8387
• VA health benefits hotline (weekdays): 877-222-8387
• Your VA primary care provider can set up a mental health appointment

If you are in a suicidal crisis, VA can provide or pay for emergency mental health care, even at a non-VA facility and even if you are not enrolled, for many veterans and former service members.

The Veterans Crisis Line website lists phone numbers for calling from overseas, including from military bases. Its online chat works from anywhere.

Outside the U.S., you can also find a free local helpline at findahelpline.com, or call your local emergency number.