Progressive muscle relaxation & letting go of tension

The goal is to learn how your muscles feel when they are tense, and how different they feel when they relax. Over time, you start to notice tension sooner, before it builds up.

A sports doctor at Cleveland Clinic describes PMR as a body scan with both a mental and a physical side. You pay attention to each area while you tense and release it, often using your breath and imagination too.

Because it gives your hands, legs and mind something to do, some people find it easier than sitting still with their thoughts.

Practicing for a few weeks helps you get better at it. Regular practice also builds your awareness of tension, so you can use PMR more easily when stress hits.

When muscles stay a bit tight for days, the feeling fades into the background. You might only notice it as a headache, a sore neck, or feeling worn out at the end of the day.

PMR is a way to check in on purpose and find tension you have been carrying without knowing it.

Stress tightens muscles, and tight muscles can keep the body on alert. PMR breaks into this loop by reducing muscle tension and general mental anxiety at the same time.

In a small study of students, PMR and guided imagery both moved the body toward relaxation right away, measured by skin response and heart rate. All three techniques tested, including deep breathing, raised feelings of relaxation.

A 2018 review found that relaxation therapy reduced anxiety, depression, phobia and worry. It was less helpful than cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for PTSD and OCD.

A small 2019 study also found PMR lowered dental anxiety.

A 2017 review found PMR led to moderate improvement in low-back pain and function. A 2018 study of adults with long-term low-back pain also found benefits for pain, anxiety, depression and sleep.

For fibromyalgia, a 2020 review found there was not enough evidence to say PMR helps.

PMR is an accepted technique for helping control and prevent headaches. A 2016 review found relaxation training paired with CBT had the most supportive research for headaches.

For children, research on relaxation training for headaches is limited and of low quality.

Relaxation techniques on their own don’t seem to be especially strong for sleep problems. The first recommended treatment for long-term insomnia is CBT for insomnia (CBT-I), and relaxation can be one part of it.

Many people still find that PMR before bed calms the body and helps them settle.

For a quick fix, focus on a single tense muscle group, like your shoulders or hands. It won’t give the full-body effect, but it can help when time is short.

Try it

1. Notice where you feel tight.
2. Breathe in and squeeze that area for about 5 seconds.
3. Breathe out and let go all at once.
4. Rest and notice. Repeat once or twice.

Mini-relaxation combines belly breathing and muscle relaxation to help you calm down quickly.

Try it

1. Sit comfortably or lie down.
2. Breathe in deeply through your nose so your stomach rises.
3. Hold your breath as you count to five. Roll your shoulders in a big circle, then let them drop. Say “relax” in your head.
4. Breathe out slowly through your mouth, like a soft whistle.
5. Repeat a few times, noticing a little more ease each time.

Once you know how relaxation feels, you can move through your body without tensing first. Picture each muscle getting warm, heavy and loose.

If your stress sits mostly in your upper body, a seated version that covers your hands, arms, shoulders, forehead and jaw takes only a few minutes and can be done at a desk.

Try letting your teeth part slightly and your tongue rest softly in your mouth. Smooth your forehead as if someone just told you good news.

Shrug your shoulders up, hold for a few seconds, then let them drop. Notice how much lower they settle than where they started.

Be gentle with the neck. Don’t twist your head into a position that feels uncomfortable.

Make tight fists for a few seconds, then open your hands and let your fingers rest. Hands are one of the easiest places to practice without anyone noticing.

Pull your stomach in tight, then let it go soft. Take a slow breath and let your belly rise. You may notice you were holding your breath without knowing.

Ideas to try

• Floppy noodle: go stiff like uncooked spaghetti, then floppy like cooked spaghetti
• Lemon squeeze: squeeze an imaginary lemon in each hand, then drop it
• Mouse face: scrunch up your nose and face, then let it go smooth
• Turtle: pull your shoulders up to your ears like a turtle going into its shell, then come back out

Remind young people not to twist their neck, head or feet into uncomfortable positions. Some muscles may be harder to relax than others, so it’s OK to spend extra time on them.

All relaxation skills get better with practice. A phone reminder can help teens remember to try it.

Teens may prefer to use headphones and a guided recording on their own.

Some people feel more anxious during relaxation exercises, or notice unwanted thoughts or a fear of losing control.

Things that can help

• Keep your eyes open and look at something steady
• Sit up instead of lying down
• Stop any time. You are in charge.
• Try a shorter version, or just one body area

There are rare reports that some relaxation techniques may bring on or worsen symptoms in people with a history of abuse or trauma, epilepsy, or certain mental health conditions.

If that’s you, it can help to learn PMR with a therapist who understands trauma. See “Healing from trauma” for more support.

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline connects you with a trained crisis counselor by call, text or chat (988lifeline.org), any time.

Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the U.S. to reach a trained counselor by text, 24/7.

Relaxation training is often part of therapy for anxiety and headaches. Ask your clinical provider about options that include it.

Find A Helpline is a free directory of crisis and support lines in more than 175 countries, by phone, text or chat.