Making decisions when you feel stuck

When there are many options, it can be hard for the brain to compare them all. See “Too many choices” below.

Piling up facts, reviews and what-ifs can hide the few things that really matter. A therapist quoted by Cleveland Clinic suggests avoiding information overload.

Fear of failure is one of the main causes of being stuck. Not choosing can feel safer than choosing wrong.

If you believe there is one perfect option, every choice feels high-stakes. Many situations have more than one good path.

Being unsure of your own preferences made choice overload more likely. Writing down your top two or three must-haves before browsing can help.

Complex choice sets made overload more likely. Removing options that miss a must-have makes the comparison simpler.

Ways to narrow down

• Ask one trusted person for their top pick
• Drop anything over your budget
• Keep only options that meet every must-have
• Set a limit on how many you’ll look at

After reasonable research, trusting your instincts is often good enough. Adding more options and scenarios can leave you even more stuck.

Maximizers were less satisfied with their purchases than satisficers, and more affected by seeing others do better.

Satisficing doesn’t mean low standards. You still decide what you need. You just stop once you find something that meets it.

Try it

1. Write down what “good enough” means for this choice.
2. Look at options one at a time.
3. Choose the first one that meets your list.
4. Stop looking once you’ve chosen.

Spending real time on a house or a job makes sense. Spending an hour on which shampoo to buy usually doesn’t. Making small choices quickly can build confidence for bigger ones.

Accepting that you can’t be certain lets you choose with the information you have. That is all anyone can do.

Try saying

• “I can adjust if this doesn’t work.”
• “I’m choosing with what I know today.”
• “More than one path could be fine.”

Because long-term regrets often involve things people didn’t do, staying stuck forever isn’t truly “safe.”

Looking back, outcomes can seem obvious. At the time, they weren’t. Remembering past decisions you handled well can also build trust in yourself.

When pros and cons are even, your values can break the tie. A choice that fits what you care about is often easier to live with, whatever happens.

Questions to ask

• What would I advise a friend to do?
• Which choice fits what I care about most?
• Which choice will I be proud of in a year?

After reasonable research, your instincts are often good enough to go on.

Making choices within a time limit is one way Cleveland Clinic suggests to get past analysis paralysis.

Pausing the decision, going for a walk or talking to a friend can help. Grounding and self-compassion matter too.

A go-to outfit, a standard grocery list or a set weekly menu takes daily choices off your plate.

If another person can handle a decision, let them, and accept that small things may not go exactly your way.

Practicing quick decisions on minor things, like what to wear, can build confidence for bigger decisions.

Decisions often go better earlier in the day, and poor sleep makes it harder to control impulses. Save important choices for when you’re rested.

Some choices are easy to reverse, like trying a new class. Others are harder, like selling a house. Reversible choices can be made faster. Harder-to-undo ones deserve more time and advice.

Ideas

• Shadow someone in a job you’re curious about
• Spend a weekend in the town you might move to
• Take one short course before a full degree
• Volunteer before starting a new career

Talking to a friend is one of the ways Cleveland Clinic suggests to get unstuck. Choose people who will listen, not decide for you.

If you’re very upset, grieving or in crisis, it can help to delay big, hard-to-undo choices until things feel calmer, if you safely can.

NIMH lists difficulty concentrating, remembering or making decisions among common signs of depression, along with tiredness and feeling slowed down.

Indecision can be part of anxiety. Constant what-ifs and needing reassurance often go along with it.

Indecision can also be linked with ADHD.

988 helps with emotional distress of any kind, not only suicidal thoughts. Spanish and Deaf and hard-of-hearing options are available.

Free, confidential support by text from a trained crisis counselor, anywhere in the U.S.

Find A Helpline connects people with free, confidential support by phone, text or chat in many countries. In an emergency, call your local emergency number.