Trauma in women: violence, safety & healing

More than 1 in 3 U.S. women have experienced sexual violence, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner. About 16 million women first experienced it before age 18.

Nearly half of U.S. women have experienced some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime.

In CDC data from 2011–2020, about 64 in 100 U.S. women reported at least one adverse childhood experience, and about 19 in 100 reported four or more.

About 1 in 8 U.S. women have been stalked by an intimate partner. Almost 1 in 3 have faced verbal sexual harassment at work or in public.

Women also live through accidents, disasters, violence in their communities and traumatic losses. Any of these can leave lasting marks.

The U.S. Office on Women’s Health says PTSD, depression and anxiety are common long-term effects of violence against women. Others include pulling away from people, losing interest in things you enjoyed, and trouble trusting.

Besides fight or flight, the body can freeze, or try to appease a threat to avoid harm (sometimes called “fawning”). These are automatic survival responses.

Many women later blame themselves for not fighting back. Freezing or complying is not consent and not a failure.

Violence against women is linked with long-term health problems such as chronic pain, digestive problems, migraines, heart problems and trouble sleeping.

Research cited by the Office on Women’s Health found that about 90% of women with substance use problems had experienced physical or sexual violence.

Numbing makes sense when pain feels too big. Support can offer other ways to cope that don’t cost you as much.

Shame is one of the heaviest parts of trauma for many women. The responsibility belongs to the person who caused harm, not to you.

Emotional abuse, controlling money and cutting you off from friends can do deep harm, even without physical violence.

The Office on Women’s Health says traumatic brain injury is a serious risk of physical abuse. Symptoms like headaches, confusion and memory problems may appear days later, and can make it harder to leave.

Advocates at the National Domestic Violence Hotline can help you think through options and safety, whether or not you plan to leave.

A new relationship, becoming a mother, a medical exam or news stories can stir up old trauma. That doesn’t mean you’re going backwards. It can be a sign you’re ready to heal.

Some women avoid touch, some feel disconnected during sex, and some find closeness healing. All of these are understandable. You get to go at your own pace.

The Office on Women’s Health reports that half of women who experienced sexual assault quit or were forced out of their jobs within the first year.

After trauma, the body’s alarm system can stay switched on. Being on guard once protected you. Healing can help your body learn it’s safe to rest again.

Abuse online is real abuse. Saving evidence and getting support can help you feel more in control.

Stalking by a partner or ex affects about 1 in 8 U.S. women.

Feeling afraid for your life or your baby’s, or feeling unheard during birth, can be traumatic.

Pregnancy loss can bring grief and trauma together, especially if it was sudden or frightening.

For survivors of sexual violence, exams and procedures can bring back old fear. You can ask for a chaperone, explanations before each step, or to pause.

Pressuring or forcing someone about pregnancy, or tampering with birth control, is a form of abuse called reproductive coercion.

More than 4 in 5 American Indian and Alaska Native women (84.3%) have experienced violence in their lifetime, according to a National Institute of Justice report.

More than 2 in 5 American Indian and Alaska Native women have been raped in their lifetime.

More than 2 in 5 multiracial women have been raped in their lifetime. Racism can also make it harder to trust police, doctors or services.

Healing can feel safer with a therapist or group who understands your culture. It’s okay to ask for that.

Abuse in same-sex relationships is often overlooked, and some women fear they won’t be believed or will be outed. You deserve support that respects who you are.

People with disabilities are more likely to experience abuse. It can include refusing help with daily tasks, blocking doctor visits, or withholding or damaging assistive devices.

Older women can face abuse from partners, family or carers. Women veterans may carry military sexual trauma.

Therapies with strong evidence

• Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)
• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
• Prolonged Exposure (PE)

SAMHSA describes trauma-informed care as built on safety, trust, peer support, working together, choice and voice, and respect for culture, history and gender.

You can ask for

• A woman therapist or doctor, if that feels safer
• Breaks whenever you need them
• Clear explanations before anything happens
• To sit nearer the door

Many survivors find comfort in women-only support groups or programs. Hearing “me too” from others can ease shame and loneliness.

Ideas to try

• Gentle movement like walking, stretching or dance
• Grounding: noticing five things you can see
• Slow breathing with a longer out-breath
• Warmth: a blanket, a bath, a warm drink

Trauma takes away control. Pressuring her to report, leave or “move on” can feel like losing control again. Offer options and support her choices.

You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline yourself to ask how to help a friend or family member.

It’s normal to feel angry, sad or helpless. Talk to someone you trust, while keeping her story private.

Free, confidential support 24/7 for anyone experiencing abuse, and for people worried about someone else.

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Free, confidential, culturally grounded support for Native Americans and Alaska Natives affected by domestic, dating or sexual violence.

Free, confidential, 24/7 support in the U.S. by call, text or chat. Press 2 for Spanish. Veterans can press 1.

Free, confidential, 24/7 support by text from anywhere in the U.S., with a trained volunteer crisis counselor.