Body image & beauty pressure in women

Your mental picture of your body can be distorted, especially when you are stressed or low. You might see a “flaw” as much bigger than anyone else would.

Feelings about your body can change from day to day, even hour to hour. A comment, a photo or a changing room mirror can shift them quickly.

In a 2019 UK survey, 1 in 5 adults said they had felt shame about their body image in the past year.

Thoughts like “I can’t wear that” or “I need to lose weight before I…” can quietly run your life. Often they echo things you heard growing up.

Negative body image can lead to restrictive eating, dieting or over-exercising. Some women avoid exercise altogether because they feel self-conscious.

It can look like

• Avoiding photos, swimming or the beach
• Checking mirrors often, or avoiding them
• Wearing baggy clothes to hide
• Putting life on hold until you “look right”

Growing up around family or friends who diet, or who criticise their own bodies, can shape how girls see theirs.

Even “kind” comments like “You’ve lost weight, you look great!” can teach that a smaller body is a better body.

Being teased or bullied about weight or appearance as a child is one of the things that can lead to poor body image later.

If an old comment still plays in your head, it may help to remember who said it, and that it said more about them than about you.

Media and adverts often promote one kind of body and push weight-loss messages.

Industries make money when women feel there is something to fix. Noticing who profits from your insecurity can loosen its grip.

Diet culture labels foods as “good” or “bad” and treats weight loss as an achievement. Dieting, even moderate dieting, raises the risk of an eating disorder in teenage girls, and it often doesn’t work long term.

Rigid, perfectionist thinking raises the risk of body dissatisfaction. If anything less than perfect feels like failure, no body will ever feel good enough.

Body dissatisfaction doesn’t just fade with age. In a study of almost 5,900 women aged 25 to 89, most in every age group wished their body looked different.

In the same review, editing and posting edited photos of yourself was linked to more body dissatisfaction and higher eating disorder risk across many studies.

Filters can make your real face start to feel “wrong” in the mirror. Remember that your unfiltered face is the one the people who love you actually see.

Studies of “fitspiration” content have mixed results, but three experiments found that seeing it made body image worse.

Watch out for posts that say they are about health but focus mainly on how bodies look.

Young people who found it hard to tell edited posts from real ones were more affected. Girls who had learned about social media at school were more critical of it and made fewer harmful comparisons.

Questions to ask while scrolling

• Is this edited, filtered or posed?
• Is someone selling me something?
• How do I feel after seeing this account?
• Would I say this about a friend’s body?

Taking breaks from appearance-focused social media and curating your feed are among the steps that can support a more positive body image.

Ideas

• Mute or unfollow accounts that make you feel worse
• Follow people with many kinds of bodies, ages and skin tones
• Follow accounts about hobbies, nature or skills, not looks
• Set a time limit on the apps that hit hardest

A research review found that in one study, doctors said they would spend 28% less time with patients in bigger bodies. Patients who expect to be shamed about their weight may avoid care, and women in bigger bodies are less likely to go for some recommended cancer screenings.

Ways to advocate for yourself

• Bring a list of what you came in for, and keep the visit on track
• Ask, “What would you suggest for someone in a smaller body with this problem?”
• Bring a support person
• You can decline to be weighed if it isn’t needed, or ask not to be told the number
• Look for a different provider if you feel judged

Patients who expect or experience stigma can feel high stress and pull back from care, making it harder to take in and follow health advice.

Shame rarely helps anyone feel better or look after themselves. Respect and support do.

Comments from family, friends or strangers about your size or plate can stay with you for a long time. You are allowed to set limits.

Things you could say

• “I don’t discuss my body. Let’s talk about something else.”
• “My health is between me and my doctor.”
• “That comment hurt. Please don’t say things like that.”

Waiting to wear the dress, go to the pool or start dating “once you lose the weight” can mean putting your life on hold for years. You are allowed to live fully now.

Colourism means favouring lighter skin, sometimes even within the same family or community. Comments like “Stay out of the sun, you’ll get dark” can teach girls that their natural skin is a problem.

If this is part of your story, it is not vanity to feel hurt. It is a real form of bias.

The CROWN Act is a U.S. law, first introduced in California in 2019, that bans race-based discrimination against natural hair textures and protective styles such as braids, locs, twists and bantu knots. Many states have passed a version of it.

Hair is tied to culture, identity and family. Pressure to change it to “fit in” can carry a real emotional cost.

Some women feel pressure to change features linked to their heritage, like the shape of their eyes, nose or lips. Noticing where that pressure comes from can help you decide what you truly want.

Women with disabilities, chronic illness, scars or skin conditions are rarely shown as beautiful in the media. That invisibility can hurt.

Masculine-presenting women, trans women and nonbinary people may face extra judgment about how they look. Your way of being in your body is valid.

Before you decide

• Am I doing this for me, or because of someone else’s comments?
• Did a filter or trend start this?
• Do I expect it to fix how I feel about myself overall?
• Would I still want this if no one else ever noticed?
• Am I choosing a licensed, qualified provider, not just the cheapest one?

If you are hoping a procedure will fix deep unhappiness, it may help to talk with a therapist first.

Some people find that once one “flaw” is fixed, attention moves to the next. If this sounds familiar, the worry may be in how you see yourself, not in your face or body.

BDD is a condition where a person is very distressed by flaws in their appearance that others often can’t see or that seem small. It often starts in the teen years.

Cosmetic surgery is not recommended for BDD, because it has not been shown to improve it. Seeking procedures that don’t make you feel better is one of its possible complications.

Talking therapy, especially cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), is the main treatment, and it can help.

Body neutrality means not having to feel strongly about your looks at all. Instead of “I love my thighs”, it might be “My legs carried me up the hill today.”

Focusing on what your body can do, rather than how it looks, is one of the steps that supports a more positive body image.

Avoiding negative comments about your own body, and other people’s, is one of the steps recommended for a healthier body image.

Exercising for enjoyment, health and social connection, rather than to change your size, is linked to a healthier body image.

Ideas

• Dance in the kitchen
• Join a walking group
• Swim, even if you feel shy
• Try something new just for fun

Limiting how often you weigh yourself is one of the recommended steps for a more positive body image.

If you check mirrors many times a day, try cutting back slowly. If you can’t cut back, it may be worth talking to a professional.

Valuing your skills, interests and personal qualities can help put appearance in its place: one part of you, not all of you.

Clothes that fit your body today can make daily life more comfortable and stop the constant reminders that you “should” be different.

Groups of women often bond by putting down their own bodies. Changing the subject, or simply not joining in, can make space for others to stop too.

Swap it for

• “I love that colour on you.”
• “How are you, really?”
• “Let’s talk about something other than diets.”

Instead of “You look so pretty”, try “You worked so hard on that” or “I love how you stood up for your friend.” It shows girls they are valued for who they are.

Girls who learned about social media were more critical of edited images and made fewer harmful comparisons.

Try looking at a filtered photo together and asking, “What do you think was changed here? Why?”

You can’t tell what someone is going through by their size. Weight loss can come from illness, grief or an eating disorder. Comments about weight, positive or negative, are best left out.

If someone you love is caught up in body worries, food rules or over-exercising, speak with care, focus on their feelings rather than their looks, and let them know help is available.