Women at work: bias, ambition & burnout

In 2023, women working full time earned 84% of what men earned, based on median weekly pay. The gap varied by race and ethnicity.

Money worries are a big source of stress. Earning less over a lifetime can also mean less savings and less security later.

A Catalyst report on women leaders found they often face higher standards for competence, with lower rewards, than men in the same roles.

Always having to prove yourself is tiring. Over time it can feed self-doubt and burnout.

Many women carry most of the planning and caring at home on top of their paid job. Carrying both can leave little time to rest or recover.

Sexual harassment at work is linked to depression, anxiety and stress. Most people who experience it never report it.

Catalyst research found women leaders are often seen as either competent or likeable, but rarely both. An assertive woman may be seen as too tough. A warm one may be seen as too soft.

Knowing about the double bind can help you stop blaming yourself. The problem is the narrow box, not you.

Bias can start before you even get the job. In one U.S. study, mothers were rated as less competent and less committed than equally qualified women without children, and were less likely to be recommended for hiring or promotion.

Early steps matter because each promotion opens the door to the next one. If you are passed over early on, it can be harder to catch up later, even when you are just as able.

Many women describe sharing an idea in a meeting, only for it to be ignored and then praised when a man says it later. Over time, this can make you speak up less.

What can help

• Ask a trusted colleague to back you up: “I’d like to hear the rest of Maria’s point”
• Follow up in writing after meetings, so your ideas are on record
• Calmly name it: “I was still talking, I’ll finish my thought”
• Do the same for others when you see it happen

Imposter feelings were first described in successful women in 1978. Some writers argue that labelling women with “imposter syndrome” can put the blame on them, when workplace bias and exclusion are part of the story.

When your time fills with tasks that help everyone but don’t move your career forward, you can end up working harder for less reward. The researchers suggest this may slow women’s advancement.

It can also leave you feeling unseen, which is a common ingredient in burnout.

Many women are expected to manage other people’s feelings at work: calming clients, comforting colleagues, keeping the mood up. This work is real and draining, even though it is rarely in a job description.

Questions to ask yourself

• Is this part of my role, or has it just landed on me?
• Would a male colleague be asked to do this?
• What would happen if I said no, or not this time?

Phrases to try

• “I can’t take that on this month. Could we rotate it?”
• “I did the notes last time. Who’s up next?”
• “I’d like to help. What should I drop to make room?”
• “Let me check my priorities with my manager first.”

The researchers found the pattern came from what people expect of women, not from women’s preferences. Teams can share these tasks fairly by rotating them or assigning them openly instead of asking for volunteers.

Women who openly want to lead may meet the double bind: being seen as pushy for doing the same things that make men look confident.

What can help

• Keep a written record of your results and praise
• Find a sponsor: a senior person who speaks up for you when you are not in the room
• Ask directly for the role or raise you want
• Practise your ask out loud with a friend first

Some women step back because of caregiving, health or simply wanting a different life. That is a choice worth respecting. It becomes painful when it isn’t really a choice, because of bias or a lack of support.

If you used to love your work and now feel cynical or empty, it may be burnout rather than a lack of ambition. Burnout is linked to chronic stress at work that has not been well managed.

Before deciding you are “not a career person anymore”, it can help to rest and look at what changed.

Working mothers may feel guilty for loving their job, while mothers at home may feel guilty for not earning. Both are common, and both come partly from impossible standards.

Recovery needs real downtime. If evenings and weekends are full of caring and planning at home, your body and mind may never get the break they need.

When women face higher standards for the same recognition, effort and reward stop matching. That mismatch is a known driver of burnout.

Some women protect themselves from bias by trying to be flawless. It can work for a while, but it is exhausting and makes every mistake feel huge.

Nursing, teaching, social work and care work involve constant emotional effort. Caring for others all day, then caring at home, can leave nothing for yourself.

In a study of fake job applications, mothers were rated as less competent and less committed than equally qualified women without children. Fathers were rated as slightly more committed than men without children.

When the researchers sent applications to real employers, women without children got 2.1 times as many callbacks as mothers with the same qualifications.

The Pregnant Workers Fairness Act covers employers with 15 or more workers. It requires reasonable accommodations for known limits related to pregnancy, childbirth or related conditions, unless that would cause undue hardship. Employers can’t retaliate for asking.

An employer also can’t force you to take leave if another change would let you keep working.

Under U.S. federal law, most employees who are nursing can take reasonable breaks to pump for up to one year after their child’s birth, in a private place that is not a bathroom.

Women make up 58% of unpaid family caregivers in the U.S. Caring for an ageing parent while working can mean missed days, turned-down promotions and high stress.

Pay gaps between women and men differ by race and ethnicity in U.S. data, and women of colour often face both gender and racial stereotypes at work.

Being one of few people like you in a room can mean feeling watched, judged as a representative of your whole group, and having to “code-switch” all day. That is tiring.

Disabled women, including those with mental health conditions, may face doubts about their abilities as well as gender bias.

Hiding part of who you are takes energy. So does dealing with assumptions about your family or appearance.

In a Mayo Clinic study of working women aged 45–60, 13.4% had a bad work outcome due to menopause symptoms, and 10.8% had missed work in the past year because of them.

Some older women feel overlooked for promotions, training or new projects, or pressured to look younger. Your experience is a strength.

A running list of your results, praise and extra work helps at review time and on low-confidence days. If something unfair happens, note the date, what was said and who was there.

A mentor gives advice. A sponsor uses their influence to put your name forward. Peers who “get it” help you feel less alone. Most people need all three.

Before you ask

• Gather facts about your results
• Find out what similar roles pay
• Decide what you will ask for, and your walk-away point
• Practise out loud
• Frame it around value: “Here is what I’ve delivered.”

Decide when your workday ends and protect it where you can. Say no to some invisible tasks. Take your full breaks and leave.

Early signs can include dreading Mondays, trouble sleeping, feeling numb or snapping at people at home. Spotting them early gives you more choices.

The EEOC enforces U.S. laws against job discrimination. In general, you need to file a charge within 180 calendar days of what happened, or 300 days in places with their own state or local law.

Ideas

• Assign office tasks openly, or rotate them, instead of asking for volunteers
• Use clear, written criteria for promotions and pay
• Don’t assume a mother won’t want a stretch role: ask
• Check who speaks and who gets credit in meetings

Ideas

• Repeat and credit a woman’s idea: “As Priya said…”
• Recommend women for visible projects
• Step in when someone is talked over
• Take your turn at the notes and the party planning

Women’s networks, professional groups and informal lunches can be places to share advice, salary information and encouragement.

Sharing what you earn with trusted peers can help close pay gaps that stay hidden when no one talks.

A partner who shares the planning and caring at home gives a woman real time to rest and to grow at work.