Body-based calming skills you can try today

A 2018 review found slow breathing changed heart rhythms and brain activity, along with feeling more relaxed, comfortable and alert, and less anxious or angry.

Once your body settles a little, it’s often easier to talk, plan or solve a problem.

Cleveland Clinic notes that regular grounding practice may help your nervous system settle more easily over time. Try skills when you’re only a little stressed, so they’re ready for harder moments.

Calming skills help in the moment. If stress, worry or trauma reactions keep coming back, therapy can help with the cause. The Somatic (body-based) therapy explained guide describes therapies that build on skills like these.

Skills to try

• A longer out-breath
• Hand on your heart or a self-hug
• Pushing against a wall, then letting go
• Slowly looking around the room

The aim is to bring the accelerator down a little, not to feel perfectly calm.

Skills to try

• Gentle movement: stand up, stretch, walk
• Holding something with a strong texture or temperature
• Naming five things you can see, out loud
• Pressing your feet firmly into the floor

When you’re shut down, deep relaxation can make you feel further away. Gentle activation often helps more.

1. Pause and ask: “Where am I right now, 0 (very shut down) to 10 (very revved up)?”
2. Around 4 to 6 is often the “okay” zone.
3. Above that, try a calming skill. Below it, try a waking-up skill.
4. Check again after a minute or two.

Cleveland Clinic suggests using this as soon as anxiety, anger or sadness starts to build. It doesn’t need to be precise. The point is to move your attention to your senses.

1. Notice your feet on the floor. Press down gently.
2. Notice the chair under you, and your back against it.
3. Say to yourself: “I’m here. I’m supported right now.”

Some people find a slow sigh, a hum or a low “voo” sound helps them lengthen the out-breath. Use whatever feels natural and comfortable.

Paying attention to breath can make some people more anxious. NCCIH also advises beginners to avoid forceful breathing. If that happens, use orienting or pushing instead.

1. Rest one hand on your chest, and one on your belly if you like.
2. Notice the warmth and gentle pressure.
3. Breathe slowly for a few breaths.
4. You might say: “This is hard. I’m here with you.”

Cross your arms and hold your upper arms, with a gentle squeeze. Some people like to slowly rock. It can be done sitting at a desk or lying in bed.

• A soft blanket or jumper
• A warm drink held in both hands
• A cool cloth on your face or wrists
• A pet to stroke

If touch feels uncomfortable for you, skip this section. That’s okay.

1. Stand facing a wall and place your palms on it.
2. Push firmly for 5 to 10 seconds, feeling your arms, back and legs work.
3. Slowly let go and notice the difference.
4. Repeat two or three times.

This uses the same tense-then-release idea as progressive muscle relaxation, which NCCIH describes as tensing and relaxing muscle groups.

Shake your hands loosely for 20 to 30 seconds, then your arms, then each leg. Stop and notice how your body feels. Many people find it a quick way to release restless energy.

Walk at an easy pace and feel your feet meet the ground. Movement is especially useful when you feel shut down. Check with your clinical provider first if you have a health condition.

• Feet pressed into the floor under the desk
• Longer out-breaths during a meeting
• Orienting: looking out of a window
• Pressing your palms together for five seconds

• Hand on heart and belly, slow breaths
• Feel the weight of the blanket and the mattress under you
• Tense and release your feet, then legs, then hands

If sleep trouble is ongoing, the VA notes that CBT for insomnia helped about 7 in 10 people who completed it.

• Hands firmly on the wheel or a rail, feeling the grip
• Naming colours you can see
• One long out-breath at each red light or stop

Try saying

• “I’m here. We can go slowly.”
• “Want to try breathing out slowly with me?”
• “Shall we step outside for a minute?”

Try not to say

• “Just calm down.”
• “You’re overreacting.”
• “Stop being so dramatic.”

Ask: “Would a hug help, or would you like some space?” Respect either answer. The VA suggests asking people how you can help rather than guessing.

Children often copy what they see. Blow pretend birthday candles slowly, push the wall “to make it move”, or play “I spy” to orient. The Calming big emotions in the moment guide has more ideas.

Your primary care provider can check body symptoms and refer you. FindTreatment.gov is SAMHSA’s locator for mental health services.

Veterans can reach the Veterans Crisis Line by calling 988 and pressing 1, or texting 838255.

Find A Helpline lists free, confidential helplines in more than 175 countries. In an emergency, contact your local emergency number.