Trauma at school

About 1 in 5 high school students are bullied on school property each year, and about 1 in 6 are bullied online.

For some young people, bullying becomes traumatic: it is constant, threatening, or nobody steps in. A long-term U.S. study found that children who were bullied had higher rates of anxiety in young adulthood, even after taking other childhood hardships into account.

CDC defines school violence as violence on school property, on the way to and from school, or at school events. It includes fighting, weapons, gang violence, bullying and sexual violence.

Being hurt is not the only harm. Seeing violence, or living with the threat of it, can keep a young person’s body on high alert all day.

When the harm comes from a teacher or another trusted adult, it can feel especially confusing. The people who were supposed to protect you were the ones causing fear.

Pediatricians say physical punishment in schools does not improve behavior over the long term and is linked to behavior and mental health problems.

School psychologists note that school shootings are rare, but the sense of risk is high. Lockdowns save lives, yet depending on how they happen they can also cause anxiety, stress and trauma reactions.

Hearing about a shooting somewhere else, especially through constant news and social media, can also leave children feeling unsafe in their own classroom.

National survey data show some groups of students face more harm at school. LGBTQ+ students, for example, were more likely to be bullied, threatened with a weapon or to miss school because they felt unsafe.

When harassment is about who you are, it can feel like there is no safe version of yourself to bring to school. Over time, it can shape how you see yourself.

Some communities carry deep wounds from schools that separated children from their families, languages and cultures. That pain can be felt by people who never attended those schools themselves.

After something frightening, children and even teens may have trouble separating from caregivers and want to stay home or close by.

In 2023, 13% of U.S. high school students missed school at least once in a month because they felt unsafe.

Stress makes it harder to pay attention and concentrate. A child who used to do well may suddenly struggle.

A brain on alert for danger has less room for fractions and spelling. This is a stress response, not a lack of ability.

Children and teens may become more irritable or defiant after a frightening event. Teens may not ask for help openly, even when they want it.

Sleep and appetite routines may change. Children may keep thinking about what happened, even when they try not to.

Stomachaches or headaches that appear on school mornings and fade on weekends can be one sign that school feels unsafe.

It is common for young people to feel anxious about what happened, what may happen next and how it will affect their lives.

When a child asks if something could happen at their school, they are often really asking, “Am I safe?”

Humiliation in front of peers can be deeply painful for a child or teen, whose sense of self is still forming. Some adults still flinch when they remember a teacher’s words.

About 70,000 U.S. students were physically punished by school staff in a single school year. Research, mostly on discipline at home, links physical punishment to more behavior and mental health problems and increased aggression.

Private schools could use physical punishment in every state except Iowa and New Jersey in 2022.

Some students feel they are always the one in trouble. Being treated unfairly again and again can leave a lasting distrust of teachers, bosses and other people in charge.

Pediatricians recommend alternatives like positive behavior supports, restorative approaches, conflict resolution and mentoring.

The National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) advises schools to plan drills around students’ ages, disabilities and language needs.

What NASP recommends

• Always announce clearly that it is a drill
• Give advance notice to anyone who may find drills frightening, including people with trauma histories
• Prepare students beforehand in a way that fits their age
• Tell families about drills ahead of time
• Train staff to notice traumatic stress and help students calm down

NASP points out that how safe people feel matters, even when there turns out to be no real threat. After a lockdown, schools should notice trauma reactions, offer support and give students and staff a chance to share how they feel.

Children may replay the sounds, the silence or the waiting. Feeling shaken afterwards is a normal response.

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (NCTSN) notes that shootings can stir up sadness, grief, helplessness, anxiety and anger in children and adults alike.

Students who were there may also feel guilt about surviving or about not helping others. The Witnessing a traumatic event guide covers these feelings.

NCTSN advises limiting children’s exposure to images and sounds of a shooting, and keeping very young children away from news coverage entirely. Children often notice what adults are watching, even when they seem busy playing.

Adults can become more distressed with nonstop coverage too, so it helps to limit your own viewing.

If school taught you that groups could turn on you, your body may still brace in meetings, classes or parties. This is your nervous system trying to protect you, based on old lessons.

If adults at school were harsh or unfair, you may freeze, people-please or bristle around authority now. Noticing the pattern is a first step toward choosing a different response.

Some people carry the words they heard at school as an inner critic. “You’re stupid.” “You’ll never fit in.” These old messages can drive perfectionism or fear of trying.

Many parents find their own school memories return when their children start school. You might feel extra anxious, protective or uneasy walking into the building.

Your child is not you, and their school is not your school. Telling a partner or friend what is coming up for you can keep old fear from steering your parenting.

When school felt unsafe, learning often suffered. Some adults believe they are “bad at school” when really they were trying to learn while scared.

Staff learn that many students, and many adults in the building, have lived through hard things. That understanding changes how they see behavior.

Teachers learn to spot when a student may be reacting to trauma, instead of seeing only “bad behavior.”

That includes classrooms, discipline, counseling and how the school works with families.

Pediatricians point to alternatives to harsh discipline, such as positive behavior supports, restorative approaches and mentoring.

Schools review their policies and practices so they don’t add harm, for example by thinking carefully about how drills and discipline are done.

Write down what happened and when. Ask who the school counselor or psychologist is and what support they can offer.

Questions you can ask

• How are drills and lockdowns explained to students?
• What support is available after a frightening event?
• What is your discipline policy?
• Who is a safe adult my child can go to during the day?

Talking about how emergency workers and ordinary people helped can show children that good exists, even in hard times.

Regular meals, bedtimes and family time give children a steady base while they work through big feelings. Expect some ups and downs.