When a parent has bipolar
A parent with bipolar can still be a loving, wonderful parent. With honesty and support, kids and parents can both feel safe.
By the numbers
Parents, children and bipolar, from trusted sources.
Lots of children grow up with a parent who has a mental health condition. These numbers show that support makes a real difference. Studies count in different ways, so numbers vary.
Children
Genes
U.S.
What kids may notice and feel
For children and teens: your feelings make sense.
If your mom, dad or carer has bipolar, you might notice times when they seem very different. They might be full of energy and plans, or very tired and quiet. You might also notice them going to appointments or spending time in hospital.
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During a high, a parent might talk fast, start lots of projects, need little sleep or get irritated easily. This is part of bipolar, not something you caused.
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During a low, a parent might feel very sad or hopeless and have little energy. It doesn’t mean they love you any less.
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- Angry that things feel unfair
- Embarrassed in front of friends
- Guilty, as if you did something wrong
- Lonely, like no one else understands
- Worried about your parent when you’re not home
Lots of other young people have a parent with a mental illness, even if no one talks about it.
If you help look after your parent
Being a young carer: the hard parts, the good parts, and getting support.
Some young people do a lot to help a parent who is unwell, like cooking, cleaning, looking after brothers and sisters, or reminding them about appointments. This is called being a young carer.
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Caring can bring stress and pressure. It can make it hard to concentrate at school or spend time with friends.
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Some young carers say caring has given them independence, life skills and a deeper understanding of illness. Many feel very close to their family.
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Schools and teachers should do their best to support young carers. Telling one trusted adult can make things lighter.
You don’t have to share everything. You could start with: “Things are hard at home because my parent is unwell.”
Will I get bipolar too?
A common worry, with a hopeful answer.
Having a parent with bipolar raises your chance of getting it. But not everyone with a family history develops it. Most children of a parent with bipolar do not.
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In a U.S. study of children aged 6 to 18 who had a parent with bipolar, about 1 in 10 had a bipolar-type condition, compared with fewer than 1 in 100 other children.
Those children were also more likely to have anxiety or other mood difficulties, so it’s worth caring for your mental health in general.
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- Avoiding alcohol and drugs, which can trigger mood episodes
- Getting enough regular sleep
- Having people you can talk to
- Telling a doctor about your family history
- Asking for help early if your moods worry you
Programs that support families where a parent has a mental illness have been shown to lower children’s risk of developing a mental health condition.
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Most of the time, bipolar starts in the late teens or early adult years. Knowing your family history means you can spot changes early.
For adult children
Making sense of your childhood, and your relationship now.
Growing up with a parent who had bipolar can shape you in many ways. Some adults feel close and protective. Others carry hurt from hard years, especially if no one explained what was happening. Many feel both.
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Learning how highs and lows work can help some memories make more sense. Understanding is not the same as excusing, and it’s OK to feel both compassion and hurt.
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You can love and help your parent and still set limits on time, money or how you’re spoken to. Clear, kind limits often protect the relationship.
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Older adults with mood changes need a full health check, because other illnesses can cause similar changes. A steady routine and staying connected matter at every age.
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Family support groups, like those run by DBSA and NAMI, welcome adult children too. A therapist can help you work through your own story.
For parents with bipolar
You can be a loving, steady parent with bipolar.
Having bipolar does not make you a bad parent. Many parents with bipolar raise happy, healthy children. What helps most is looking after your own wellbeing, being honest with your kids, and having a plan for harder times.
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Steady sleep and routines help moods stay steadier. Children benefit from that steadiness too.
Broken sleep with a new baby can be hard on mood. Plan night-time care with a partner or helper, and tell your care team about the new arrival.
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If an episode led to shouting or broken promises, a simple, honest repair helps: “I wasn’t well, and I’m sorry I shouted. It wasn’t your fault.”
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Children sometimes take on caring jobs without being asked. It helps to notice this and line up other adults to help, so kids still have time for school, friends and play.
Talking with children at every age
Honest, simple words that fit their age.
Children usually sense when something is wrong. A simple, honest explanation helps them feel safe and stops them from blaming themselves.
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Try: “Sometimes Mommy’s brain makes her feel very sad or very busy. It’s not because of anything you did. Doctors are helping, and you’ll always be looked after.”
Young kids may ask the same question many times. That’s normal, and patient repeats help them feel secure.
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You can use the word “bipolar” and explain that it is a health condition affecting mood and energy. Let them know who they can talk to if they’re worried.
DBSA’s Mood Crew program helps adults start conversations about feelings with children aged 4 to 10.
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Teens can handle more detail, including that bipolar can run in families. Invite their questions and listen to how they feel.
Respect that they may want to talk to someone outside the family too, like a counselor or relative.
Key messages for any age
- It’s a health condition, not anyone’s fault
- It’s not your job to fix it
- You can always ask questions
- You will be looked after, even on hard days
A plan for the children if things get hard
Who looks after the kids, and what they’ll be told.
DBSA recommends having a crisis plan in place before a crisis happens. For parents, a key part is deciding who will look after the children and how they’ll be kept in the loop.
Your children’s part of the plan
- Name one or two trusted adults who can step in
- Write down school, childcare and medical contacts
- Note your kids’ routines, comfort items and favourite foods
- Decide what the children will be told, and by whom
- Tell the children, at their level, who will look after them
- Share the plan with the adults involved, and review it regularly
In many U.S. states, you can also make a psychiatric advance directive, a legal document that records your wishes about care if you can’t decide during a crisis.
How community helps
No family should do this alone.
Programs that support families where a parent has a mental illness lower children’s risk of developing mental health conditions. A wider circle of support helps everyone.
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DBSA offers free support groups for people living with bipolar, and separate groups for friends and family. Its free weekly online parent and caregiver groups are organised by the child’s age.
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NAMI Family-to-Family is a free, 8-session program for family, partners and friends of people with mental health conditions, taught by trained family members.
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Schools can support children who have a parent with a mental illness, especially young carers. Letting one trusted staff member know can help.
A grandparent, aunt, coach or family friend can be a steady extra adult in a child’s life.
When and where to get help
For kids, adult children and parents.
Reach out for help if…
- A child seems very worried, withdrawn or is struggling at school
- A young person is doing a lot of caring and feels overwhelmed
- A parent’s high or low is getting worse, or the plan isn’t working
- Anyone talks about suicide or not wanting to be here
- Someone sees or hears things others don’t (this needs urgent care)
A school counselor, pediatrician, family doctor or the parent’s care team are good places to start. In the U.S., findtreatment.gov can help you find mental health services nearby.
📝 Worksheets for this guide
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Sources
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Bipolar Disorder (publication)
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Bipolar Disorder in Children and Teens
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Bipolar Disorder (statistics)
- National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). Help for Mental Illnesses
- American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) (2017). Bipolar Disorder in Children and Teens (Facts for Families No. 38)
- Cleveland Clinic. Bipolar Disorder
- Royal College of Psychiatrists (UK). When a parent has a mental illness
- Birmaher and colleagues (peer-reviewed) (2009). Lifetime psychiatric disorders in school-aged offspring of parents with bipolar disorder: the Pittsburgh Bipolar Offspring Study (Archives of General Psychiatry)
- ScienceDaily (from JAMA and Archives Journals) (2009). Children of parents with bipolar disorder at increased risk for psychiatric disorders (news release on the Pittsburgh Bipolar Offspring Study)
- Siegenthaler and colleagues (peer-reviewed) (2012). Effect of preventive interventions in mentally ill parents on the mental health of the offspring: systematic review and meta-analysis (Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry)
- Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA). For Friends and Family
- Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA). Parents and Caregivers
- Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA). Crisis: Preparing for a Crisis
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). NAMI Family-to-Family
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) (2019). A Practical Guide to Psychiatric Advance Directives
This guide is for education and self-care. It is not a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care. Please talk to a counselor or clinical provider about your health. Reviewed October 2026.
