Young men, online culture & influencers

Online spaces can teach you to cook, train, fix things or manage money. They can introduce you to people who share your interests, especially if you feel different where you live.

Many young men say masculinity influencers are entertaining, motivating and inspiring.

If no one in your life talks openly about being a man, a confident voice online can feel like a lifeline. That’s understandable. The question is whether that voice is actually helping your life get better.

In a 2025 survey, 68% of boys who saw masculinity content said it appeared in their feed without them looking for it.

Look for

• Admits mistakes and uncertainty
• Advice you can check with trusted sources
• Encourages friendships and getting help
• Practical steps, not just hype
• Respects people who are different from you

Watch out for

• “Real men never…” rules
• Blaming a whole group for your problems
• Mocking men who show feelings or ask for help
• Promises of fast money, fast muscles or guaranteed success
• Telling you only they know the truth

Making you feel like you’re failing can be part of the pitch: the problem is you, and the answer is their product. Ask: “What does this person want me to buy or do?”

Working out, building skills and having goals can be really good for you. Real strength also includes friendships, honesty about feelings and knowing when to get help.

Feeds learn from what you watch, pause on and comment on. Shocking or angry videos grab attention, so you may get served more and more of them, even if you didn’t go looking.

Each step can feel small. Noticing where your feed has drifted is the first step to taking it back.

Try this

1. Notice how you feel after scrolling: better, worse, angrier?
2. Tap “not interested” on content that drags you down.
3. Unfollow or mute accounts that make you feel worthless or angry.
4. Search for and follow things you want more of: skills, sport, comedy, music.
5. Check your watch history once a month.

If you go into dating expecting to be used or rejected, it’s hard to be open, kind and yourself. That can leave you lonelier than before.

In a 2025 survey, boys with heavy exposure to masculinity content were more likely to feel lonely and less open about their feelings.

Things that help

• Asking questions and really listening
• Doing things you enjoy, where you meet people naturally
• Handling rejection with grace: it happens to everyone
• Respecting a “no” the first time
• Working on friendships, not just dating

Content that ranks men by how many partners they have can make you feel like a failure. Many young men are single, and that’s a normal part of life, not a verdict on you.

Healthy relationships have honesty, respect for each other’s friends and choices, and no control or fear. That goes both ways.

Red flags

• “Guaranteed” returns or wins
• Pressure to act now or miss out
• Selling a course on how to get rich
• Showing cars and cash instead of explaining how
• Telling you a regular job is for losers

Betting apps are fast, always available and built to keep you playing. If you’re betting more to win back losses, borrowing money or feeling anxious about it, it may be time to step back.

Comparing your bank account to someone’s highlight reel isn’t fair to you. Small, steady steps, like a basic budget or learning a skill, beat get-rich-quick promises.

Lighting, pumping up before a photo, dehydration and editing can make bodies look very different from real life. Comparing yourself to that is a losing game.

Being told your face or height makes you worthless can stick, especially in your teens. These ideas aren’t science. People connect, date and make friends with all kinds of looks.

If thoughts about your body take up a lot of your day, or you’re thinking about using substances to change your body, talk to your clinical provider.

Porn often leaves out consent, feelings, communication and what real bodies look like. Using it as a guide can create pressure and unrealistic expectations for you and your partners.

Real intimacy involves talking, checking in, respecting “no” and caring how the other person feels.

Some young men feel stuck in habits around porn that leave them feeling ashamed or disconnected. Shame usually makes it harder, not easier. A counselor or clinical provider can help without judgment.

In financial sextortion, someone tricks you into sharing a sexual image, then demands money. NCMEC says teenage boys have been the most common targets. The FBI says victims are typically boys aged 14 to 17.

If it happens

1. Remember: the blackmailer is to blame, not you.
2. Don’t pay. Paying usually doesn’t stop the threats.
3. Stop replying, but don’t delete messages. They’re evidence.
4. Report the account on the app, and block it.
5. Use Take It Down (takeitdown.ncmec.org) to help remove images taken when you were under 18.
6. Tell a trusted adult. You won’t be in trouble.

Ask

1. Who is saying this, and what are they selling?
2. Can I find the same advice from a trusted, qualified source?
3. How do I feel after watching: stronger, or worse about myself and others?

Follow creators with different ages, backgrounds and ideas of what being a man looks like: dads, athletes who talk about mental health, artists, tradespeople, scientists, comedians.

Boys with strong real-world relationships have better self-esteem and less loneliness.

Ideas

• A gym class or sports team
• A part-time job or volunteering
• A faith or cultural group
• Gaming nights with friends, in person
• A club, band or hobby group

Charging your phone outside your bedroom, or setting a cut-off time, can help your mood, focus and training.

Is he looking for confidence, belonging, direction or answers about dating? Helping meet that need in real life, through mentors, activities and honest talks, often matters more than arguing about a creator.

If he feels judged, he may stop talking to you and trust online voices more. Stay curious, respectful and steady.

Men in his life who talk about feelings, treat others with respect, apologise and ask for help show him what strength can look like.