Why men avoid the doctor, and how to go anyway

41% of U.S. men in one survey said they were told as children that men don’t complain about health issues. Those early messages can make a checkup feel like weakness, even decades later.

Among men who hadn’t been fully honest with their doctor, 46% said they were embarrassed. Bodies, peeing, sex and weight can all feel hard to talk about.

37% of men who weren’t fully honest said they knew something was wrong but weren’t ready to face a diagnosis. That’s a very human reaction. See “Fear of bad news” below.

36% of men who weren’t fully honest said they didn’t want to hear they needed to change their diet or lifestyle.

Some diseases have no early symptoms. That’s why regular checkups are advised even when you feel healthy.

61% of men said they’d be more likely to get a yearly checkup if it were more convenient. See “Time, money and no doctor” below for ways around this.

About half of U.S. men have high blood pressure. Heart disease and cancer are among the leading causes of death for men. A simple check of blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar can pick up early warning signs.

In 2024, life expectancy at birth was 76.5 years for U.S. males and 81.4 for females. Many things contribute to this gap. Regular care is one piece you can control.

Most men say they want to stay healthy for their family and friends. A checkup is a practical way to act on that.

Each time you put it off, the relief teaches your brain that avoiding works. Over time, the appointment feels bigger and scarier than it really is.

Screenings look for problems before symptoms start, when they are often easier to treat. A checkup often ends with a small next step, like a follow-up test or one change to try.

• Instead of “If I go, they’ll find something bad”, try “If I go, I’ll know where I stand”
• Instead of “I can’t handle bad news”, try “I’ve handled hard things before, and I won’t be alone”
• Instead of “It’s been too long, they’ll judge me”, try “Coming back is what matters”

Under the Affordable Care Act, many health plans must cover preventive services like screenings and vaccines, often at no cost to you when you use an in-network provider. Check your plan, as $0 isn’t guaranteed in every case.

Community health centers offer care where what you pay depends on your income. Find one near you at findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov.

• Check your insurer’s list of in-network primary care providers
• Ask friends or family who they see
• Look for a nearby community health center
• Book a “new patient” visit, then you have someone to go back to

• Ask for the first or last appointment of the day
• Ask if a video visit is possible for a first chat
• Book next year’s checkup before you leave
• Put it in your calendar like any work meeting

Appointments can be short. Starting with what matters most makes sure it gets covered.

Let your provider know about changes since your last visit, including recent illnesses, major life events and any health concerns. It’s okay to mention things you’ve read online too.

Doctors ask about alcohol, sex and mood because they matter for your health, not to judge you. Honest answers lead to better advice.

• Book or offer to book the appointment
• Link it to his goals: “I want you around for a long time”
• Offer to go together, or get your own checkups at the same time
• Mention one specific thing you’ve noticed, kindly
• Celebrate when he goes, whatever the result

• Constant reminders or nagging
• Teasing him about being scared
• Frightening stories about other people
• Talking about his health in front of others

Chest pain, trouble breathing, sudden weakness or confusion, or sudden severe pain need emergency care. Call 911 rather than waiting for him to agree.

A free U.S. government tool at health.gov/myhealthfinder. Enter your age and sex, then print or save the list to take to your appointment.

What you pay depends on your income. Find one at findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov.

Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, 24 hours a day. It’s free and confidential.

Your local doctor or national health service is the best first step for checkups. For emotional support, Find A Helpline (findahelpline.com) lists free helplines in many countries.