Anxiety in men

NIMH lists headaches, muscle aches, stomachaches, tension and trouble sleeping among signs of ongoing anxiety.

In interviews with young men with anxiety, physical symptoms like headaches, nausea and muscle pain were common, but the men often didn’t link them to anxiety.

NIMH lists feeling irritable or “on edge” among signs of anxiety, and anger and irritability among signs men may notice.

When your body is on high alert, small things feel like big threats. A short temper can be a sign your alarm system is stuck on.

Some men manage worry by trying to control everything: the budget, the schedule, how others do things. It can feel like being responsible, but it can also be anxiety in a disguise.

Notice

• Getting tense when plans change
• Struggling to hand tasks over
• Running “what if” scenarios at night
• Checking things like locks, emails or bank balances again and again

Working long hours can keep anxious thoughts quiet for a while. The worry often comes back the moment you stop, on weekends, holidays or at 3 a.m.

Feeling restless or unable to relax is one of the signs NIMH lists for ongoing anxiety.

Among people with anxiety disorders, men were about twice as likely as women to have had alcohol problems: 33.2% compared with 15.0%.

Alcohol can calm nerves for an evening, but anxiety often bounces back worse the next day, and sleep gets worse too.

Young men in the Orygen study often tried to ignore or distract themselves from anxiety. These avoidance strategies didn’t work in the long run.

Avoiding something brings quick relief, but it teaches your brain the thing really was dangerous, so the fear grows.

If you have chest pain and aren’t sure what it is, call 911. A provider may examine you to make sure a physical problem isn’t causing your symptoms.

If tests come back clear and attacks keep happening, ask about anxiety. CBT is a research-supported therapy commonly used for panic.

1. Plant your feet and notice the ground.
2. Breathe in gently for about 4.
3. Breathe out slowly for about 6.
4. Remind yourself: “This is a wave. It will peak and pass.”

In a 2023 survey of 1,000 U.S. men, 37% named money as their No. 1 source of stress.

When your sense of worth is tied to providing, money worries can feel like worries about who you are.

Constant pressure to perform can keep your alarm system switched on, even at home. Some men describe always waiting for the next thing to go wrong.

Some men worry a lot about getting ill. Others avoid checkups because they’re scared of what they’ll hear. 44% of U.S. men in one survey said they don’t get a yearly physical.

Unlike most types of anxiety, social anxiety showed no significant difference between men and women in a large U.S. study.

For men, it may look like avoiding parties, dreading meetings, drinking to feel at ease, or staying quiet to avoid looking foolish.

Worries about a relationship ending, being a good enough dad, or caring for ageing parents are common, and often kept private.

Pushing it away, keeping busy, or using alcohol and distraction. It can work short term, but the anxiety usually waits.

Starting to connect the headaches, the short fuse and the sleepless nights to worry. Naming it is a turning point.

Accepting it, learning skills and getting support. Many men find that once they see anxiety as a problem to work on, the practical side kicks in.

• Avoiding what scares you
• Drinking or using drugs to calm down
• Lots of caffeine to push through
• Overworking so you never stop
• Keeping it all to yourself

Avoidance didn’t work long term for young men in the Orygen study, and NIMH notes cutting back on caffeine can help ease anxiety.

NIMH lists exercise, along with mindfulness and meditation, among stress management techniques that can reduce anxiety symptoms.

Some young men in the Orygen study coped by looking for information and solutions. Many men like this practical approach.

1. Write down what’s worrying you.
2. Sort it: can I do something about this, or not?
3. For the ones you can, pick one small step this week.
4. For the ones you can’t, practise letting them sit without solving them.

Exposure, facing feared situations gradually, is part of the CBT-based approaches the WHO says have the most evidence for anxiety.

Start with something a little uncomfortable, stay with it until the anxiety eases, then move up a step.

NIMH lists trouble falling or staying asleep among signs of anxiety. Regular sleep and wake times, less screen time late at night and less alcohol can all help.

The Orygen researchers recommend friends and family learn to start open conversations about anxiety with the young men in their lives.

CBT helps you spot thinking patterns that keep anxiety going, test them, and change what you do. The WHO says CBT-based approaches, including exposure, have the most evidence for anxiety.

The WHO lists stress management skills such as relaxation and mindfulness among psychological treatments for anxiety. They can be learned in person, in groups, online or through self-help.

NIMH notes that some people with anxiety benefit from joining a self-help or support group.

Your doctor can check for physical causes of symptoms like a racing heart or poor sleep, and refer you to therapy.

In a 2019 U.S. survey, adults aged 18–29 were the most likely to report anxiety symptoms (19.5%).

School, first jobs, money, relationships and social media can all add pressure at this stage.

The APA notes research linking racial discrimination to depression in Black men, explained in part by pressure to hold feelings in and rely on yourself. The same pressures can keep anxiety hidden.

Finding a therapist who understands your culture, or a community where you can speak freely, can help.

Research on minority stress shows that prejudice, rejection and hiding who you are add stress that can affect mental health.

Always scanning for how people will react can keep your alarm system switched on.

Anxiety can appear or return later in life, around health changes, money or losing a partner. It’s not just “part of getting old”, and it can be treated at any age.

• “You’ve seemed really wound up lately. What’s on your mind?”
• “You don’t have to have it figured out to talk about it.”
• “Lots of men deal with anxiety. It doesn’t make you weak.”
• “Want to go for a walk and talk?”

• “Just calm down.”
• “Stop overthinking it.”
• “Man up.”
• “There’s nothing to worry about.”

These can make a man feel misunderstood and less likely to talk next time.

It’s tempting to make calls for him or help him dodge hard situations. Helping him take small steps himself usually works better in the long run.

Make time for your own rest and support. You can call or text 988 for advice on helping someone else.

FindTreatment.gov is SAMHSA’s free, confidential locator for mental health and substance use services.

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