Starting your first job

At school, you usually knew what “good” looked like and when the term would end. At work, feedback can be rare, goals can be fuzzy, and there is no summer break.

New names, new systems, new rules and a new commute can leave you wiped out, even if the work itself isn’t hard. This usually eases as things become familiar.

Some people miss the freedom of student life. Some feel proud to earn their own money. Some feel lost because friends have scattered to different cities and schedules.

All of these feelings can be true at once. The Young adults (18–25) guide covers more about this stage of life.

Tips

• Keep a running list and ask several questions at once
• Say what you’ve already tried: “I checked the guide, but I’m not sure about…”
• Write down the answers so you only need to ask once
• Ask who the best person is for different kinds of questions

If you make a mistake

1. Take a breath. It probably feels bigger to you than to anyone else.
2. Tell the right person early, before it grows.
3. Say what happened, without over-apologising.
4. Suggest a fix, or ask for help with one.
5. Note what you’ll do differently next time.

How fast people reply to messages, what people wear, whether lunch is social or solo: these are rarely written down.

How to learn them

• Watch how others do things for the first few weeks
• Ask a friendly co-worker: “Anything you wish you’d known when you started?”
• Check the employee handbook for the official rules

Many people starting out worry they were hired by mistake. In reality, co-workers usually remember being new and expect a learning curve.

Good questions for your manager

• How do you prefer I contact you: chat, email or in person?
• How often should we check in?
• What should I focus on first?
• What does a great first three months look like?
• When something is urgent, how will I know?

When you get feedback

1. Listen all the way through before responding.
2. Ask for an example if it’s unclear.
3. Thank them, even if it hurts a bit.
4. Take time to think it over later.
5. Show you’ve used it next time.

New workers often say yes to everything to make a good impression. That can lead to long hours and burnout.

Try: “I have A, B and C this week. Which should come first?” This shows you care and lets your manager help.

Nearly half of workers aged 18–25 in one survey felt older colleagues didn’t value their ideas. Older workers can feel misunderstood too.

What helps

• Ask about their experience: people enjoy sharing what they know
• Share your ideas with a short reason why
• Stay curious rather than assuming

A mentor doesn’t have to be formal. It can be anyone you trust to answer questions and share advice. Ask for a short chat about one specific thing to start.

Ideas

• Ask for short video chats to meet your team one by one
• Go in on the busiest office days if you can
• Keep friendships outside work strong too
• Turn your camera on for some meetings, if you’re comfortable

Try this

• Notice if worry about work keeps you up
• Plan big nights out for evenings before a day off
• Set a regular wake time, even on some weekend days
• Wind down without work messages for the last hour

Ideas

• Change clothes as soon as you get home
• Go for a walk, cook or play music
• Turn off work notifications at a set time, if your job allows
• Write tomorrow’s to-do list, then close the laptop

In the rush of a new job, hobbies and friendships can slip. Protecting time for them helps you keep a sense of who you are outside work.

Your pay stub shows what you earned (gross pay), what was taken out (such as taxes and benefits) and what you received (net or take-home pay). The U.S. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has a free worksheet to help you read it.

The form you fill in when you start (the W-4) affects how much tax is held back from each paycheck.

In general, you can stay on a parent’s job-based health plan until age 26, even if you turn down an offer of coverage from your own job. Rules can vary by state and plan.

Steps that help

• Write down what comes in and what goes out each month
• Pay for needs first: housing, food, transport, bills
• Put aside a small amount for surprises, if you can
• Be careful with comparison: friends’ spending online isn’t the full story

Examples the EEOC gives

• A changed schedule, such as working around therapy appointments
• A quieter workspace
• Instructions in writing
• A specific shift
• Working from home

To ask, tell a supervisor or HR that you need a change because of a medical condition. You don’t need to know exactly what to ask for. Your employer may ask for a note from your health care provider.

If you share a condition with your employer, they must keep it confidential, even from co-workers. You can choose whether to tell co-workers yourself.

Employers can’t fire you, refuse to promote you or punish you for asking for an accommodation.

An EAP is a voluntary, work-based program that offers free and confidential assessments, short-term counselling and referrals. It can help with stress, grief, family problems and more.

Often normal

• Feeling unsure in the first few months
• Missing the freedom of student life
• Occasional stress around deadlines
• Some dull tasks while you learn

Take these seriously

• Being asked to do unsafe or illegal things
• Being bullied, harassed or humiliated
• Being punished for asking questions or making normal mistakes
• Dreading work every day, with your sleep or health slipping
• Not being paid what you were promised

If you decide to move on, it can help to line up your next step first if you can, and to leave on good terms. But your health matters more than a perfect CV.