Helping someone who may be suicidal

You can contact 988 if you are worried about someone else, any time of day or night. A counselor can help you think through what to say, how to keep them safe and where to find local support. Calls are routed to a local crisis center.

You can call or text 988, or chat at chat.988lifeline.org. It is free and confidential. For Spanish, press 2 or text AYUDA.

Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the United States, at any time, to reach a trained volunteer crisis counselor. Some people find texting easier than talking, especially at first.

The Veterans Crisis Line is for veterans, service members, and the family and friends who support them. Call 988 and press 1, text 838255, or chat online. It is free, confidential and open 24/7, and the veteran doesn’t need to be enrolled in VA care.

The Trevor Project offers free, confidential crisis support for LGBTQ+ young people, 24/7. Call 1-866-488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat on their website.

Find A Helpline lists free, confidential helplines in more than 175 countries. If someone is in immediate danger, call the local emergency number.

Ask directly, calmly and without judging. It shows you care and that it is safe to be honest. Research shows asking does not increase suicidal thoughts, and talking openly may reduce them.

Tips

• Find a private moment
• Focus on their reasons for living, not yours
• Listen closely to their reasons and their pain
• Never promise to keep it a secret
• Use the word “suicide” so there is no confusion

Being there can be in person, on the phone or by text. Feeling connected and less alone protects people. Only promise what you can actually do, and if you can’t be there, help find someone who can.

Helpful things to say

• “I’m not going anywhere.”
• “I’m really glad you told me.”
• “We’ll figure out the next step together.”
• “You’re not a burden to me.”

If they say they are thinking about suicide, gently ask whether they have a plan. If there is immediate danger, call 911 and do not leave them alone. Do not try to handle it all by yourself.

Help put time and distance between the person and anything dangerous, such as firearms. Storing these safely, or asking someone trusted to hold them for a while, saves lives. Crises are often brief, so making danger harder to reach buys precious time.

Help them reach ongoing support: the 988 Lifeline, a doctor, a therapist, a school counselor, or trusted people in their life. You could call or text 988 together. Callers who spoke with trained Lifeline counselors felt less suicidal and more hopeful by the end of the call.

You can also help them make a safety plan. The guide If you’re having suicidal thoughts explains safety plans, and the app has a “My safety plan” tool.

After the first conversation, keep in touch. A simple message asking how they are doing can mean a lot. Research suggests that even small, caring contacts, like a short note, may lower suicide risk.

Ways to show you’re listening

• Keep your attention on them, with your phone away
• Let them finish before you respond
• Sum up what you heard: “What I’m hearing is…”
• Use small signals, like nodding or “mm-hmm”

• “I’ve noticed you seem really down lately. I’m worried about you.”
• “Are you thinking about suicide?”
• “That sounds so painful. Thank you for trusting me with it.”
• “What’s been the hardest part?”
• “What would help most right now?”

Asking directly does not put the idea in someone’s head. Clear words show you can handle the answer.

• Arguing, lecturing, or debating whether suicide is right or wrong
• Daring them, or reacting with shock
• “Promise me you won’t…” followed by keeping it secret
• “Think about how this would hurt your family.” (It can deepen guilt and feeling like a burden)
• “You have so much to live for.” (It can sound like you’re not hearing their pain)
• “You’re not serious, are you?”

What helps most is staying calm, listening, taking them seriously, and helping them connect to support.

1. Thank them for telling you
2. Listen, without rushing to fix it
3. Gently ask whether they have a plan
4. If there is immediate danger, call 911 and stay with them
5. Otherwise, call or text 988 together and talk about next steps

Some people aren’t ready to talk the first time. Let them know you are there whenever they want to talk, and that nothing they say will scare you away. Follow up in a day or two.

If warning signs are new or getting stronger, call or text 988 yourself for advice on what to do next.

What to do

1. If you think the person may be in immediate danger, call 911 and share what you know
2. If you know them, reach out privately: “I saw your post and I’m worried about you. Are you thinking about suicide?”
3. Report the post using the platform’s report option for suicide or self-harm
4. Call or text 988 yourself for advice on next steps
5. Tell a trusted adult if you are a young person

Most large platforms have safety teams. When a post is reported for suicide or self-harm, they review it and can reach out to the person to connect them with support like 988. Reporting is not getting someone in trouble. It is getting them help.

How suicide is shown or talked about can affect people who are struggling. Content that glamorises suicide, or presents it as the only way to cope, can be harmful. Content that shares hope and encourages help-seeking can protect.

Ways to look after yourself

• Follow accounts that share recovery, hope and practical support
• Mute, unfollow or block accounts that leave you feeling worse
• Report content that encourages self-harm or suicide
• Take breaks from scrolling, especially late at night
• Use “not interested” or similar tools to change what you’re shown

Suicide contagion happens when one suicide is talked about in a way that contributes to more. Responsible messages can do the opposite: they can encourage people to seek help. Experts developed safe-messaging recommendations for exactly this reason.

When you post

• Avoid saying suicide was caused by one single event
• Never share how someone died or images of the scene
• Say “died by suicide”, not “committed suicide”
• Share 988 and other help lines
• Talk about warning signs, hope and recovery

You can chat with the 988 Lifeline at 988lifeline.org, or text HOME to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line. Many people find typing easier than talking, especially at first.

The safest option while someone is at increased risk and recovering is to store firearms away from the home for a while. Trusted friends or family, some gun shops or ranges, storage facilities and some police departments may be able to hold them. Rules vary by place, so check locally.

If off-site storage isn’t possible, lock firearms very securely and keep ammunition locked separately or out of the home for now. Keep keys and combinations away from the person at risk, because family members often know each other’s hiding places.

Think about anything at home that could be dangerous in a crisis. Lock it up, ask someone else to keep it for a while, or safely get rid of what you no longer need. A pharmacist, doctor or Poison Control (1-800-222-1222) can advise on what is safe to keep at home and how to dispose of the rest.

Keeping only small amounts of alcohol at home also helps, because alcohol can lead to risky decisions in a crisis.

Concerned family and friends can raise the idea of storing firearms or other dangerous items elsewhere for a while. Approach it as a team decision made out of love, not as taking something away or as a judgment.

You could say

• “Could your brother hold onto these for a few weeks?”
• “I’d feel so much better knowing these are stored somewhere else for a while.”
• “This is just for now, while things are hard. We can talk about it again later.”

Pediatricians advise removing firearms from the home if possible, or storing them locked and unloaded, with ammunition locked separately. They also advise locking up alcohol and other items that could be dangerous during a crisis.

Families often feel they must watch every move after a crisis. Instead, focus on connection: regular, warm time together, helping with appointments, and knowing the safety plan. Ask the care team what to watch for and when to call.

Practical ways to help

• Help make the first follow-up appointment, ideally within a week
• Help make home safer, together
• Keep a copy of their safety plan, if they want you to
• Offer rides, reminders or company at appointments

In one of the earliest suicide prevention trials, people in San Francisco who had been in hospital for depression or suicidal feelings received short, caring letters over five years. The letters asked for nothing back. Two years after discharge, 1.80% of the letter group had died by suicide, compared with 3.52% of the group who received no letters.

Newer research is more mixed. A 2024 study of veterans who contacted the Veterans Crisis Line found that caring letters were not linked with fewer suicide attempts, but they were linked with more veterans using mental health care. Staying in touch may help people take the next step toward support.

You don’t need to be a professional to stay in touch. Friends, family, teammates and faith communities can all send short notes or texts in the weeks and months after someone’s crisis.

Ideas

• A card on a hard date, like an anniversary
• A regular weekly check-in on the same day
• “Saw this and it made me think of you.”
• “Thinking of you today. No need to reply.”
• “Want to grab a coffee this week?”

After an attempt, people may face fear, confusion or even anger from those around them. Let the person decide what to share and with whom. You can help by protecting their privacy and gently steering others toward kindness.

Recovery has ups and downs. If warning signs return or grow stronger, such as talking about being a burden, pulling away or saying goodbye, act quickly: ask directly, and call or text 988 or the care team.

Involve other trusted people and professionals, such as family members, a doctor, a therapist or a school counselor. Bringing in specialists in crisis and suicide prevention is part of helping, not a failure.

It is okay to set limits on what you can offer. Being clear and reliable helps more than promising to be available all the time and then burning out.

You could say

• “I can’t talk tonight, but I’ll call you at 9 tomorrow.”
• “I can text every day, and here’s who you can call at night.”
• “I want to help, and I think we need someone with more training too.”

You can call or text 988 for yourself, as a worried friend or family member. Talking things through with a counselor, a therapist or a support group can help you keep going.

• Do one thing a day that is just for you
• Keep up sleep, meals and movement as best you can
• Spend time with people who lift you up
• Step away from your phone for short breaks when someone else is covering

Suicide is usually the result of many things coming together, including pain a person may hide. You can make a real difference, but you cannot control everything another person does.